Fathers, Daughters and ExGirlfriends
by LoveBugOC
Summary: Ten Years have passed. Ryan is a single father who finds himself back in Newport with his 13 year old daughter. She learns more about his past than he's ever told her when his ex-girlfriend comes back to town. Can she help him find happiness again?
1. Fathers

_Hey!! I just finished my other story, called When Worlds Collide. It's all about Ryan and Marissa and the troubles they face when not everything turns out to be how they thought it was. So read that, if you're interested!!_

_This is another RM fic, completely AU style. It's about family and romance and of course drama. Because what is Ryan and Marissa without drama right? Anyway so let us pretend that Theresa had a girl, not a boy. Let us also pretend that the timeline in season one in which things happened was a little bit different, so therefore Oliver happened a little bit earlier, as well as Theresa. Season two and three happened the way they were in the show, except that the baby (girl) is Ryan's. And let's also pretend that Marissa Cooper is still alive, of course; because in a fair and just world, she would be. And so would the show. Anyway it's just a little something I thought up in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep and I thought it would be cute and funny and interesting. So here it is, I hope you like it.  
_

**Fathers**

At exactly 8:00 am, 28 year old Ryan Atwood wakes up to his alarm blaring loudly next to him. He groans loudly, like he does every morning and rubs his face with his hands. Staring up at the ceiling he makes a mental note of the things he needs to do today while letting the music play in his ears. Shower, shave, pack the remaining clothes in his closet, make breakfast and pack the car.

Today is the day. Today is the day that he and his daughter leave Chino behind for good. Today is the day he cuts all the ties he has left this place. Today is the day his daughter will finally be saved by the depression that is Chino. Though he knows she doesn't think about it like that...yet.

* * *

Ten years ago; almost to the day, Ryan Atwood learned the truth to the 3 year secret that was spun around him. Theresa had had the baby; a girl she name Lillian Rose Atwood. And after graduation; after asking Marissa if he can drive her to the airport, Theresa had told him everything-she even showed him the DNA results, proving that without a doubt, the beautiful 3 year old girl was his. And after talking to Marissa in the car about it, and having her tell him that he'll make the right decision because he always does, Ryan debated the decision in his head. He could either go to Berkley and come back on weekends to see his kid. Or he can skip out on college, find a job and be with his daughter every day. He chooses the obvious; deciding that since he'd already missed out on her first three year, he wouldn't miss out on a single day more. He'd missed her first words, her first steps, her first tooth...he couldn't; wouldn't miss anymore.

So he moves back to Chino with Theresa. And determined to do it on his own, without the help of his rich foster family (no matter how much they meant to him), Ryan gets his old construction job back and Theresa gets a job at the new local bakery.

Marissa goes to Greece with her dad and Summer goes to Brown in the fall. And in the winter, Seth follows her to Providence.

A few months later its Lillian's 4th birthday and Theresa's mom, and Sandy and Kirsten gather at the Diaz household, along with her friends from pre-school. Ryan remembers not being very thrilled to have the Cohens in his old neighbourhood because quite frankly he didn't really want to be there either. But he focuses on the fact that 'home' is where your family is-and Lillian and Theresa are is family. That thought alone is the only thing that keeps him in Chino.

The day his daughter calls him 'daddy' is both the happiest and scariest day of his life. Nothing beats hearing your child say your name-Daddy- for the first time. Nothing. He's happy beyond words because he knows that no matter what this little person-his daughter-is going to love him forever. And he's scared out of his mind that she's going to look up to him and depend him and believe in him for the rest of his life. He's responsible; completely and totally responsible for somebody that isn't himself. It's scary and intimidating and amazing all at the same time.

She walks into the house on a Saturday afternoon and Theresa's at work and Lily's crying his name and holding her bloody elbow. For the first in a long time the Chino atmosphere gets the best of him and he panics, looking up and down the street. But then she tells him that she fell down and he wraps it in gauze and kisses it better. And he knows he'll never sleep easy again.

The first day of kindergarten is tough. Lily is excited out of her mind, jumping around the house and singing a song he's never even heard before. Theresa picks out her outfit-a pink skirt with white stockings and a white t-shirt; all the while putting on a brave face. Ryan is nervous; making breakfast and packing her lunch silently. The ride to Chino Elementary is silent between him and Theresa while Lily babbles on and on about all the things she's going to do. The second he pulls her out of the car though, she starts crying and screaming and Theresa is crying and he's trying so hard not to. When she finally lets go of his neck and lets the teacher carry her away from them, he faces Theresa and she looks just like Lily. And he feels bad because in the last four months, he's barely even talked to her-his childhood bestfriend; the mother of his beautiful little girl. And so he hugs her, promising herself that he'll make an effort this time because last time he lived here for the baby it was awkward and uncomfortable. It can't be like that, not anymore. When school ends at lunch, they pick her up together and Lily doesn't stop talking the whole ride home. He calls Sandy and Kirsten and tells them all about it. And that night he sleeps in the same bed at Theresa. The following night they sleep together, both desperate to hold onto some semblance of their relationship.

Ryan calls Kirsten on December 4th because in a short few weeks it'll be Christmas-his first ever with his four year old daughter. She tells him that when she was a little girl, she wanted nothing more than a dollhouse. So he spends the next few weeks building one from scratch; she won't know the difference but to him it's important. On Christmas Eve they go to Newport and have dinner with the Cohen clan and when Lily opens the dollhouse that is easily twice her size it's like she's lost to the world. She spends hours decorating it and by the bedtime she's too tired to even attempt to play with him.

The following summer when Seth and Summer return again from college they visit his family of three and Lily takes an instant liking to Summer. It takes a few hours for her to warm up to Seth because he's weird. Ryan is somewhat relieved. Marissa also comes back from Greece and enrols herself in the interior design program at Berkley. A couple of weeks after school starts back up, they lose touch again.

Four years later, for Lily's seventh birthday, Ryan and Theresa bring her back to Newport for the weekend with Sandy and Kirsten. Ryan and Sandy help Seth and Summer move into their own house while There, Lily and Kirsten go to the spa. That evening Kirsten orders way too much Thai and a few minutes after it arrives they all know why. Marissa walks into the room and is more than ecstatic as she throws herself at her bestfriend. Everybody hugs her and asks her about college and life. Ryan keeps his distance; afraid to get close after 4 years of being apart. After dinner however he finds her in the backyard and for the first time in years they talk; about everything. Marissa tells him about her plans for the future. Ryan tells her all about Lily. And it takes everything in him not to kiss her, and just as he's about to give in, Lily calls for him to tuck her in. She's gone when he gets back. The next day Ryan slips out after cake and singing and they almost sleep together before they both come to their senses. The next morning she calls him and tells him she's leaving Newport again, for New York. He doesn't tell her that he wants her stay and he doesn't tell her what he wants-what he's always wanted. Instead he wishes her luck and to stay in touch. She says she will but they both know she won't.

A few months later, Ryan proposes to Theresa; because really that's the only thing they have left to do. They have a small wedding in their backyard in which Lily is the flower girl.

The marriage isn't necessarily loveless, because he did love her. But he wasn't in love with her. It was lust; not passion. It was boring. It was convenience more than anything. They both knew it. After all, they'd only married for Lily.

Three years later Theresa files for divorce, packs her things and leaves. In the middle of the night she takes off. And Ryan isn't surprised like he knows he should be. They hadn't talked in weeks. She'd stopped wearing her ring. To a certain extent Ryan should've seen it coming; and he understands why she'd leave him. A person can only take so much rejection in a marriage based on nothing but a little girl. But it angered him beyond belief that she'd leave her daughter-their daughter. When he finally sits down to talk to his 11 year old little girl, he explains it the only way he knows how; thanking god that she hadn't had to witness it herself; like he had with his own mother. And he's there-every night when she cries herself to sleep he holds her. When she can't sleep he stays up with her and bakes cookies with her at 3 o'clock in the morning.

A couple months later she stops crying, she sleeps better and she seems happier. She stops talking about her estranged mother and even when she does, it doesn't seem to hurt her anymore. Nor does it seem to bother that her grandma-Theresa's mom- shuts her out, along with the rest of the 'family' due to Theresa's departure.

The Cohen's insist time and time again that he and Lily move back to Newport to with family, to let them help him. But being Ryan, as stubborn as he is, he declines politely for two years straight. It's him and his daughter against the world.

But two months ago, Ryan finally gives in to everyone's pleas and starts to make the arrangements for them to move to Newport. He accepts Sandy's job offer at the Newport Group. He accepts the space Kirsten offers him at the house. And he tells his boss in Chino that he's leaving. When he tells 13 year old Lily, she isn't sure how to feel but she agrees anyway.

* * *

After showering quickly, shaving his face and packing his last duffle bag, Ryan Atwood carries it into the hallway, pausing in front of Lilt's door and knocking on it softly. "Lily wake up, it's time to get ready." He continues into the living room and places his bag on the floor behind the couch. When he doesn't hear any movements down the hall he sighs. "Lil! C'mon babe we gotta go!"

He grabs two bowls out of the cupboard next to the fridge and two cereal boxes out of the cupboard underneath the counter. He pours fruit loops in Lily's bowl and cheerios into his before grabbing the milk out of the fridge. "Lillian Rose Atwood!" he yells loudly.

"Geez dad, full name?" the 13 year old black haired, blue eyes girl asks sarcastically. She walks into the kitchen and grabs the milk from her dad.

"You're not dressed," he notices, catching a glimpse of her old pyjamas as he pulls the milk carton back.

Lily shrugs and grabs a spoon before walking into the living room. She plops down on the couch, sitting cross-legged on 'her' cushion. "Remind me again why we're moving to Newport with grandma and grandpa."

Ryan sighs and leans against the counter. "We've been over this Lil."

"Yeah, I know, because of educational purposes and whatever-"

"Can you stop being so cranky?" he asks her sternly.

"Sorry..." Lily trails off, eating a spoonful of cereal. She doesn't mean to be so moody because he is right. Graduating from Harbour would give her amazing opportunities. And she loves her grandparents, she just isn't sure about living with them.

"You know," Ryan starts, walking towards her with his bowl. "When I was a kid-"

"C'mon dad," she groans. She hates this speech.

"Lily." He pauses and sits on the table in front of his daughter. "Look, moving to Newport when I did-it saved me-"

"Your parents were fucked up," she points out.

"Lillian Rose-"

"It's true though isn't it?" she asks, successfully avoiding her full name being given to her on a silver platter.

He sighs. "Yeah but that's not the point. This is a good thing Lil."

"I know it's just...as crummy as this place is, it's home dad." She looks at her father, the only person in the whole world that she truly trusts.

"I know babe. But you'll be fine. We will be fine." He smiles reassuringly at her.

"I love you daddy," she whispers, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He grins proudly and rubs her back softly. "I love you too. Now go get dressed okay?" he pulls away and taps her face with his fingers lightly. "If we plan on getting there for lunch, we gotta go."

He watches her place her empty bowl into the sink for him to wash and pack before walking back to her room. Ryan understands where she's coming from. Because although staying in Newport was the best thing that could've happened to him at the time, he had still been wary too. Because Chin was all he had known. But he'd swallowed his fear and insecurities. And if anyone can do the same, it's Lily Rose Atwood.

* * *

_Alright that's it for the first chapter! How was it? I know it's short, but don't worry the chapters will get longer the further along we get. This one was just to show what's happened to Ryan in the last ten years and also to get a feel for the kind of relationship he has with his daughter. Hope you liked it!_


	2. Daughters

_Hey guy, here's the second instalment, it's about Lily's thoughts and perspectives on the things going on in her life. Enjoyy  
_

**Daughters  
**

After leaving her dad in the living room, Lily walks into her room and pauses momentarily, glancing around at all the brown boxes labelled 'Lily's room'. She has one more box to pack. Sighing softly, she grabs her bra off of the door handle and closes the door. She pulls off her pyjamas and pulls on her bra and panties before dressing in her nicest outfit. A pair of jeans and a cute top that her aunt Summer bought her for her last birthday. After changing quickly, she grabs her last box and places it on her bed. She starts to grab things around her room, like various pictures and ornaments. And her snow globes. Since snow doesn't come to California-Lily figured that snow globes are the next best thing.

She wraps the delicate things in newspaper and places them into the box carefully. When that's finished she starts to empty her night stand-the things inside and on top. She comes across another picture frame and picks it up in confusion. Turning it over, her breath catches in her throat when her gaze falls on the woman in the photo staring back. It's the picture her dad took of her and her mom on her tenth birthday...

She's forgotten she had this. And she'd definately forgotten that she'd put the frame upside down in her bottom drawer two years ago. She didn't want a reminder of the woman who had abandoned her and her father staring at her every day. But now, looking at the equally happy faces in the picture, she can't help but remember the night before her mother left them.

It was a warm august night. Her dad was working late that night so it was just the two of them. Theresa had been extra emotional that day. Her first thought was that maybe her mother was pregnant, before quickly remembering that it's next to impossible. Her parents barely slept in the same bed anymore. So she ignores it. And when her dad gets home, her parents barely even greet each other. When she says goodnight, her mother tells her she loves her over and over again. The next morning Theresa is gone and her dad tells her that she's gone for a bit. It takes four days for him to tell her what she already knew; that her mother wasn't coming back. She cries for hours that night. And the night after that; and the night after that. About a month later, she stops crying and stops talking about the woman she used to call 'mommy'. That same night she puts the photo in the drawer and never looks at it again. Until today.

She feels bad for her dad because she knows that he blames himself. But Lily would never believe that because it doesn't matter how bad your marriage is, you don't abandon your children. You just don't do that. And you don't leave someone you spent eight years of your life with alone and to fend for themselves all of a sudden. Not in any world-Chino or Newport- is that okay. Lily knows that.

If she's honest with herself, she knows that her parents' marriage was nothing more than a document with a couple of signatures on it. There was no love. They weren't in love. And they especially weren't like her friends' parents. Her friends' parents slept in the same bed-it had take months for Ryan to move into the bedroom. They didn't fight; they didn't even talk. There were more like roommates; two people who lived in the same house, raising the only thing they have in common. Their daughter.

The older she got, the more she began to notice the lack of relationship they had. Minimal physical contact, very minimal communication-in fact the only communication they did have was almost always concerning her. Or some girl-Melissa, or Melanie...or something. The older she got, the more she began to realize that her parents just weren't mean for each other. She'd read enough love stories as a little girl to know what love at least looked like-and it was not love. You just can't force something that never fit in the first place. Even 9 year old Lily Atwood had known that.

So while it wasn't a complete shock that her mother would divorce her father, it was a total shock that she'd leave her daughter. That's what hurt the most; the fact that Theresa couldn't love her own daughter enough to stay. That's why she hid the photo.

But then like always, her dad comes to the rescue. He was there for every grazed knee, for every monster under her bed. For every tear she cried because of the mean girls at school. He was there when her heart was broken by one of the two people who are never supposed to hurt her; and she knows he'll be there for every other broken heart. He held her while she cried herself to sleep. And when she couldn't, he'd stay up with her too. And she knows that he'll _never_ leave her.

The sound of her door opening slowly, pulls her out of her own thoughts and Lily looks up to see her dad standing in the doorway in his 'daddy's a hero' stance. She smiles softly and he walks in silently, sitting next to her on the bed.

"You look good in that picture," he whispers, bumping her shoulder with his.

"I look good all the time dad," she says playfully, in old fashioned teenage fun.

Ryan laughs, shaking his head slightly. "You ready?"

"Yep," she smiles. "Just one more thing." She opens the back of the silver picture frame and takes out the photo, before placing the frame into the box.

"What are you doing?"

"She doesn't deserve to come with us," Lily shrugs, throwing the picture into the garbage. "She's moved on and so are we. She can't come."

Ryan nods and grabs two boxes off of the floor. His daughter is bitter and angry and he understands completely because he's been there. And he knows that in a few years when she realizes that no matter what, Theresa will always be her mother, he'll be there with the exact same picture he keeps hidden from her in his wallet.

* * *

The ride to Newport is quiet but comfortable. Other than the random questions and answers from either party, the songs and DJ's from the radio are the only source of noise in the car. But it's comfortable because like her dad, Lily doesn't need to talk. And when Journey's _Don't Stop Believing_ comes on the radio, Lily turns up the volume and both father and daughter burst into song. They sing every word, make every note. Theresa never understood their love of Journey.

When they pull into her grandparent's driveway, they both linger in their seats, staring at the house in front of them. It's different now, because now it's home.

Her dad gets out of the car first and pulls off his leather jacket, hanging it over the back of the seat. Lily stays in her seat, deep in though. Only when he walks around and fold his arms on her open window does she look at him, finally tearing her eyes away from the mansion.

"Ready kiddo?" he asks, smiling his fatherly smile to reassure her.

"Ready as I'll ever be dad," she says, smiling back. By the time she undoes her seatbelt, Ryan's pulled her door open. Hey walk up the front steps and it doesn't feel like it used to. It feels like coming home. It feels good. The large wooden door opens before they even reach it and her grandma Kirsten throws herself into Ryan's arms.

"Oh, my boy!"

Ryan laughs, hugging her back. "Kirsten you're choking me."

"Oh, sorry," she laughs. She pulls away and turns to her favourite (and only) granddaughter. "Hey sweetie," she squeals, throwing her arms around the 13 year old girl.

"Hey grandma," Lily giggles, hugging her back tightly.

"I have a surprise for you." The blond pulls away from her and pulls them both into the foyer.

Lily and her dad follow her through the living room and into the kitchen, where the whole family is gathered around the long dining room table, and food is spread out. Sandy is next to Seth and Seth is next to Summer. In front of them are their 5 year old sons Kyle and Tyler.

"Oh my gosh move," Summer squeals, pushing past her husband and father in law to hug her niece.

"Hey Aunt Summ!"

Ryan laughs and walks forward to greet his foster father and brother, ruffling his nephew's curly black hair. "What is all this? I said nothing big," Ryan reminds them.

"I told you honey," Sandy laughs with his arm around his granddaughter.

"Ugh I know," Kirsten groans. "But you know me, I get carried away!"

"Very carried away," Seth smirks.

"Grandma can we eat now?" the twins ask simultaneously, look up at her with big brown eyes.

"Yes you may," Kirsten laughs.

Lily laughs too as everyone grabs a seat around the salads and sandwiches. She pulls off her own leather jacket and hangs it over her chair before sitting next to her father and Aunt Summer. This is definately a good thing.

* * *

A few hours later, after everyone in the Cohen household has polished off every plate on the table and moved out to the backyard, Ryan walks into the kitchen where Sandy is rinsing and loading the dishwasher. He glances back at his daughter-playing with Kyle and Tyler. Smiling, he keeps the door open and walks closer to his foster father. "Want some help?"

"Sure," Sandy grins, placing the plate in his hand into the dishwasher.

Ryan nods and grabs a plate off of the pile next to sink. He rinses it first and then hands it to Sandy, repeating his actions.

"How's Lily doing?"

"She's good," Ryan smiles. His smile fades when he remembers the photo he found her with earlier. "Actually she uh, she found a picture of Theresa today..."

"Oh..."

"She threw it out. She doesn't talk about it and even when she does-"

"She's void of emotion?" Ryan nods and Sandy smiles warmly. "Familiar huh?"

"Yeah. But I just, I dunno what to say, you know?"

"Neither did we," Sandy admits. "And you turned out fine. Just let her deal with it on her own. She may surprise you."

Ryan smiles and glance out the window at his daughter who's now talking with Summer and Kirsten while Seth plays with his sons. He hands Sandy the last glass.

"So," Sandy starts, closing the dishwasher door, "Kirsten and I have one more thing for you. And Lily."

"Yeah?"

Sandy stuffs his hand into his pocket and pulls out a single key. He hands it over to his son.

The father of one looks at his own father in confusion. "What's this?"

"Your new house key."

"House key?" Ryan asks, before he puts two and two together. "Sandy I can't accept this."

"Sure you can-"

"I can't ask you to do this-"

"You're not asking, we're offering. Actually we're demanding."

Ryan glances down at the key in his hands and then behind him at Lily. Nodding, he faces Sandy. "Thank you."

"Besides, not only are you too old to be living at home, you and Lily need space," Sandy points out.

Ryan can't agree more.

* * *

Later, after thanking Sandy and Kirsten properly and saying goodbye to everyone, Ryan navigates his way through Newport expertly; his daughter beside him in the car.

Looking out the window with her head against the glass, Lily watches the different mansions fading in and out of her vision. She looks at her dad. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," Ryan says casually.

Lily sighs, pouting slightly. "You said that all 5 times I asked you," she complains.

"Then stop asking," Ryan teases.

Lily laughs and is slightly take aback when her dad pulls the car into a driveway in front of a house that looks a lot like her grandparents', only he outside walls are more beige than cream. Confused, she turns to Ryan but he's already out of the car. "Dad?" she asks in confusion, climbing out of the car. "What....I...."

He grabs a box in one hand and walks over to her, pulling the key out his pocket with his other. He holds it up in front of her. "Welcome home Lil."

"No..." she whispers. A smile spreads across her face when her dad grins and nods at her. "Oh my God!" The excitement finally gets the best of her and she grabs the key before running up the concrete staircase to the front door. She ignores her father's laughter and sticks the key into the lock, pushing it open and pocketing the key in her jacket. She pauses in the door way and stares into the foyer. Directly in front of her is a giant marble staircase with old fashioned wooden railings. She continues to walk around the house. Towards the back left side is the living room with a long white couch, a stainless steel coffee table and a huge grey marble fireplace. A mirror sits on top of the mantle against the wall. Just off the living room is the dining room with a long table and 6 chairs. A picture of a sunset over the ocean is hanging on the wall separating it from the kitchen. Just off the kitchen is the family room with another, smaller white couch, a wooden coffee table, a giant plasma screen TV and surround sound, a book shelf and another smaller fireplace. There are also two bathrooms; one at either end of the house. Upstairs are 4 bedrooms and two more bathrooms-the master and a normal one. In the basement is the laundry room, a storage room, a mini bar and a theatre room. Outside is the infinity pool and hot tub, a patio set with 8 chairs, an outdoor kitchen and a poolhouse with exercise equipment and pool supplies. There's a metal gate surrounding the yard and separating it from a small hill that leads down to a secluded part of the beach.

Ryan watches in amusement as his daughter bounces around the backyard happily. He remembers the first time he saw the Cohens house in its entirety, including the view over looking Newport and the ocean. And he remembers thinking that it was impossible for a kid like him to be _that_ lucky. Sometimes he still pinches himself to make sure he's awake.

He places the last of the boxes on the floor in the foyer and walks through to-and out- the glass doors off of the living room into the backyard. "What do you think kid?"

Lily grins, staring down at the ocean. "I think...I think I can definately get used to this."

He smiles again and crosses the yard, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"How'd you get this place?"

"Sandy and Kirsten," he says softly. "As soon as I get enough money, I'm paying them back."

Lily faces her father and hugs him, standing on her tippy toes. "I love you daddy."

Ryan strokes her hair and kisses her forehead softly. "I love you too."

* * *

_So that was the second chapter! What do you think??_


	3. ExGirlfriends

_Here's the next chapter. Marissa's in it so WOOO! I'm also going to post the next chapter because it gets us that much closer to the REAL drama and stuff! Enjoy.  
_  
**ExGirlfriend**

The blond haired, long legged 28 year old Marissa Cooper thanks her taxi driver before he drives away. She stands at the bottom of the staircase of the Roberts house where her mother still live with Dr. Roberts. She swings her carryon bag over her shoulder and holds her other in her hand as she climbs up the staircase to the front door.

She stops in front of the glass doors and reaches forward to ring the doorbell. Since it is technically her house too, she supposed that she can just walk in but she waits anyway. Through the glass she sees her fiery haired mother smile excitedly and yanks the door open.

"Oh sweetie!" Julie squeals loudly, throwing her arms around her oldest daughter. "It's so good to see you!"

Marissa laughs, hugging her back tightly. "I missed you mom."

"Oh I missed you too," Julie squeaks pulling back. She wipes her tearing eyes carefully so as not to ruin her make-up. "Look at me," she frowns.

Smiling softly, the blond walks into the house and looks around, glad to see that nothing's changed. "Where's Dr. Roberts?"

"He's working. But he promised to make it home for dinner tonight," Julie smiles.

"Cool."

"Oh honey, I'm so glad you're back."

"Me too mom," Marissa giggles. And she really is.

"Do you need help taking your things upstairs?"

"No that's okay. I got it." The blond hugs her mother once more before walking up the stairs. She navigates her way through the hallways towards her old room. The door is closed and she finds herself taking a deep breath before pushing it open.

She's surprised to find it exactly the way she left it five and ten years ago. Walking into the room she's also surprised to find that there isn't a single speck of dust on any given surface. She carries her bags to her bed and sets them both down before unzipping her carryon one and pulling out Sharebear. The jet lag is slowly starting to hit her and she climbs on top of the sheets. Holding the purple bear to her chest and staring at the ceiling. Marissa remembers the last time she was in Newport.

She was twenty-three years old, fresh out of college and newly graduated. Having not seen anybody in months, she'd decided to head back to Newport directly after the ceremony with her mother and Kaitlin before deciding what to do afterwards. Her roommate of four years had offered her a place in New York, but she wasn't yet sure what she wanted to do.

On the way home Julie surprises her with a spur of the moment visit at the Cohens. Thrilled, she'd practically ran at the front door only to find out that it really wasn't a surprise or a spur of the moment because it was planned by Kirsten. Upon entering the kitchen she is met by Summer awaiting arms and bombarded by questions. She smiles politely at Theresa, says a quick "hi" to Lillian and nods awkwardly at Ryan. They spend the whole meal and most of her visit avoiding each other before he finds her hiding out in the backyard. She remembers being surprised when not only does he sit beside her, but he starts talking to her too, in what would be their longest conversation in years. She tells him all about the college and her courses and her roommate Claire. In return turn tells her all about his daughter; in true proud father tone. He takes her by surprise again when his fingers brush against her cheek, sending shivers down her spine. And then Lillian yells for him and he pulls away, the moment ruined. He excuses himself to tuck her in and she takes advantage of this time to leave. Marissa spends the next day with Summer and Kaitlin. When Theresa shows up, the tall blond wants nothing more than to hide because nobody makes her feel more insecure than Theresa Diaz. Theresa is everything Marissa isn't, she stands for everything Marissa cannot. She is strong-emotionally and mentally. She is raw and jaded and street smart. She sees the world for what it is. She is Ryan's oldest friend; his oldest _lover_. She represented comfort and safety for Ryan at a time when his own insecurities had almost boiled over. And she is the _mother_ of his child; of his baby girl.

She remembers lying in bed that night and thinking about all of it and she remembers opening the door to be met by a pair of soft but chapped lips in a firm and passionate kiss. She remembers him grabbing the back of her head desperately and lovingly. She remembers him pinning her against the wall. And within seconds she's in her bra and panties and he's in his boxers. He tosses her on the bed and she giggles as he climbs on top of her. And as he kisses her neck and chest and stomach, she arches her back, pleading with him not to stop; desperately wanting him to make love to her, to reconnect with her.

And then he stops and he groans and he buries his face into her neck whispering 'I can't' over and over. And they both know why. They aren't in high school anymore. Ryan is taken; though he and Theresa aren't 'technically' together, he's still taken. By his daughter; by his family. He pulls away from her and apologizes while pulling his clothes back on. She scurries around the room and pulls hers' on too. She walks with him to the front door and he apologizes again before practically throwing himself into the car. The second his car falls out of sight, Marissa runs up to her room and sobs into her pillows for hours. Because she's still in love with Ryan Atwood. Because she still wants and needs him so badly. Because he doesn't belong to her. He belongs to an eight year old girl who needs her father.

So she makes a decision. She calls Claire and takes up her offer to move in with her in her place in New York. She packs her bags-which doesn't take long because she didn't unpack much. She tells her mom and Kaitlin and Summer and for a second time in 5 years, they let her leave.

The next day she calls Ryan on the way to the airport to tell him. She tells him it's because New York is her dream. She doesn't tell him it's because of him and its okay because he holds back too. He wishes her good luck and tells her to stay in touch and she says she will; but they both know she won't.

And now she is five years later, in her old room, still contemplating her life. The truth is she missed Newport; she missed home. She missed her mom and her sister and her bestfriend. She missed the warm weather. She missed the sand and the ocean and the air. She missed everything. A week ago she told Claire that she needed to go home; and while the perky brunette was upset that her new bestfriend was leaving, she completely understood.

Upon hearing the door open, Marissa sits up. "Come in." She watches as her mother slips through the crack in the doorway.

"So I have a surprise."

Marissa watches still, in confusion as her mother disappears again and the door opens further, revealing the surprise-her bestfriendforever. She screams, leaping off the bed and into the arms of her shorter, darker bestfriend. "Oh my God!"

"Oh my God!" Summer echoes, throwing her arms around the blonds' neck.

"I'll leave you two alone," Julie giggles, closing the door.

"Coop!" Summer exclaims, pulling back to look at her bestfriend. "You look amazing! You're pale as a ghost, but still-amazing."

"I know," Marissa giggles, grabbing Summer's arm and pulling her over to the bed. "New York is beautiful, but it lacks the sunshine sometime."

"Girl you have to tell me everything!" the brunette demands, plopping onto the bed.

"Definately," Marissa giggles.

"Oh my God we should go to the beach-get some colour on you," Summer suggests excitedly. "Like old times." She smiles brightly.

Although all the jetlagged blond wants to do right now is lie low and rest, she can't say no to her bestfriend. So she grins, receiving a quick hug. "Wait what about the twins?"

"They're with Seth," she shrugs but doesn't tell her that he's helping Ryan and Lily get settled.

"Wow! You trust them alone together?" the blond jokes.

"I know right?" Summer giggles.

* * *

A few hours after unpacking the last of their bedroom boxes, Lily-having chosen the room with the balcony attached to it; much to her father's dismay- father and daughter walks side by side down the pier. Both of them eating Newport's famous Balboa Bars. "S what do you think?" Ryan asks casually, glancing sideways at his daughter as she eats her ice cream bar silently.

"It's delicious. Why do they call it 'Balboa'?"

Ryan laughs. "I dunno, to make you ask questions," he teases.

Lily giggles and shoves him slightly. He ruffles her hair playfully and she calls for him to stop. When he does, she grins a smile identical to her dads and links her arm through his.

"What do you think of Newport?" he asks, remembering what he first thought of Newport. _'I think I could get in less trouble where I'm from'. 'You have no idea'_.

"I think..." the young Atwood trails off, letting go of her fathers' arms and leaning on the metal railing at the end of the pier over-looking the ocean. "I think its beautiful dad."

Ryan nods and sits on the bench behind her. Newport is definately a beautiful place to live. And when she's a little bit older, he'll tell her that while this place may be beautiful and flawless on the outside, she needs to be careful. But for right now, he'll just watch his daughter act carefree for a little while longer.

"Daddy?" Lily asks softly, turning to face her hero.

"Hmmm."

"You lived here for so long...how could you just leave it?" she asks curiously.

She'll never know how truly hard it was leave-the first or the second time. And she'll never have to if he can help it. He smiles softly and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "You're mom had you. And...nothing else mattered."

Lily smiles softly, finishing up her ice cream. "Can I have another one?" she asks, waving her stick in the air.

"Another?" she laughs, looking at her like she's crazy.

"Please dad? One more, promise." She gives him her puppy dog face, the one she knows can get her anything in the whole world.

Ryan sighs and climbs to his feet. He digs into his back pocket for his wallet, cursing himself inwardly for giving in yet again to her puppy dog eyes. There is only one other person that can do that to him every time. "Go," he laughs, handing her the money.

"Yay thank you!" She jumps up and kisses him on the cheek before running back down to the ice cream store.

Ryan turns with a smile and watches her in amusement as she skips off down the pier. He shoves his wallet back into his pocket and then leans back into the metal railing. He notices Summer walk out of a boutique and he's about to call out to her when he sees a woman-taller and slimmer than her- walk out after her, laughing uncontrollably. His breath catches in his throat when he realizes who that laugh belongs to. Marissa Cooper. His ex-girlfriend. His Marissa. He takes in her appearance: her long dark blond hair, her perfect curves, and her long tanned legs. She's still as beautiful as ever. And she still takes his breath away.

He watches from afar as Summer runs back into the boutique and Marissa stays outside. He's transfixed on her, unable to look away though he knows she may see him at any minute. She's mesmerizing, hypnotising, intoxicating. And she's truly impossible to get over.

Lily walks towards her father again, noticing an unrecognizable look on his face. "Dad," she says, stopping in front of him. "Dad." When he doesn't answer her she pokes him in the stomach. "Dad!"

"What?" Ryan asks, forcing himself to look away and concentrate on his daughter.

"Hi."

"Hi. Sorry-"

"What were you looking at?" she asks suspiciously.

"Nothing," he says quickly. A little bit too quickly.

"I don't believe you."

"Where's my change?"

"Hey don't change the subject!" she scolds playfully, swatting his arm. "Who is it?" she looks around in search of the subject of her father's distraction.

"What?" Ryan asks, taken aback.

"Is it her? With the platinum blond hair and fake boobs?" she asks, pointing out one of the many blonds on the board walk.

"Or her? With the fake nose-"

"Lily! Forget the fact that it's rude-"

"It's her isn't it?" she asks, pointing out a really pretty blond leaning against a small boutique wall. "With the shiny hair and long legs? She looks like she belongs in a magazine."

"Alright enough." He grabs her by the shoulders and pushes her along the pier, away from the beauty that it Marissa Cooper. "C'mon. We have stuff to do."

"Like avoid a simple question?"

"Haw-haw."

* * *

Marissa pushes herself off of the wall of the boutique as Summer walks back out the door. "Did you get it?"

"Yep," Summer giggles as they carry on down the pier.

After telling Summer all about New York-things she hasn't yet had a chance to tell her, the best friends talked about anything and everything. The only thing that's left to talk about is Ryan-a subject that Summer isn't sure how to start. Ryan has been a forbidden subject for so long. "So I have to tell you something..."

"Okay," Marissa laughs at her nervously.

Summer sighs, deciding that it's probably best to just get it over with. "Ryan lives her now," she mutters quickly.

"What?"

"Ryan, he's uh...he lives here now. With Lily..."

"Oh..." the blond whispers softly, looking down at her white flats as they continue to walk. "Maybe coming back wasn't such a good idea."

"Coop you can't avoid him forever," the brunette says softly. "You can't keep hiding."

"I know..."

"Plus you would've had to see him sometime. He visits all the time."

"Wait did you say him and his daughter? What about Theresa?" she asks, staring at her shorter friend in confusion. They haven't talked about Ryan in years; which means she has no idea what's been going on with him.

"What about her?" Summer asks bitterly. "The woman walked out on them like two years ago. As far as I'm concerned she better stay far, far away from Lily. And Atwood."

Marissa pauses in confusion, unsure of how to react. "She just left?"

"In the middle of the night," the brunette confirms with a nod.

"Why?"

"I dunno. Nobody really knows. I mean Ryan must, but he's Ryan; he's not gonna talk about it."

"Wow...I just can't believe that Theresa of all people would just leave," Marissa whispers, taken aback.

"I know. Anyway, so yeah. They're living here now. Kirsten got them a house and he's starting at the Newport Group for Sandy in a few weeks. And Lily's starting at Harbour this year; she skipped the 5th grade so..." Summer trails off, taking a deep breath to recompose herself. "So that's it."

"Wow..."

"What?"

Marissa smiles softly. "He's really...grown up. I mean single father, raising a teenage girl? It's just...a lots changed," the blond realizes.

"I know."

Marissa nods silently and suddenly the air between them is awkward because of the things she's too afraid to admit or ask.

* * *

Later that evening while Lily listens to music and tans in the lounge chair in the backyard, Ryan prepares all the things he needs for dinner. Lily's favourite grilled cheese sandwiches and a garden salad. He rips the lettuce into pieces in a bowl and starts to chop the vegetables: carrots, red and green peppers, red onions and tomatoes. And no matter how hard he tries, he can't erase the image of the beautiful, sun-kissed, freckled face of a girl he never got over. He thinks back to earlier that day and the fact that she was with Summer at the pier. That fact alone isn't weird-because they are still best friends. What's weird is that nobody told him that she was here.

Out of curiosity and the fact that is anybody will tell him, it's Seth, he dials Seth and Summer's phone number and puts it on speaker.

"Hey man," Seth says into the phone on the other end.

"Seth, hey."

"Dude am I on speaker?"

"Yeah. I'm making dinner," Ryan smirks.

"Right, 'cause you're practically a chef now. Where was this when mom couldn't even make cereal?"

Ryan shakes his head at his bestfriend and brother though he can't see. He rinses the chopped vegetables and leaves the colander in the sink for a nice air dry.

"Anyway what's up man? You never call just to talk anymore, you always want something."

"Gee, sound familiar?"

"No! Okay yeah, but whatever. Look Summ will be home soon and she'll want help for God knows why-I mean we all know I'm useless, but she tried anyway," Seth rambles...

"Seth," Ryan says sternly and his brother shuts up like a child being scolded. "Speaking of Summer, did she say where she was going today?"

"Just that it was a secret and let me tell you it was torture not to take the boys on a mission. Why?"

"I saw her," Ryan blurts out. "She was at the pier..."

"Well that's not unusual, she likes those little boutiques-"

"With Marissa," Ran clarifies. Just saying her names takes his breath away...

"Marissa?" Seth snorts. "Wait. As in Marissa Cooper?"

"Yeah."

"Marissa Cooper. Now that's a surprise. How is she?"

"How should I know?" Ryan asks defensively.

"You saw her!"

"I didn't talk to her. She didn't even know I was there." At least he hopes not.

"Oh..." Seth trails off.

"Is she uh...is she staying?"

"I have no idea. I didn't even know she was here. I mean Summer talks to her like once a week but she never mentioned anything about a visit."

Ryan sighs and tosses the salad into a large bowl.

"Would it be a bad thing?" Seth asks hesitantly.

"What?"

"If she stayed? For good?"

"No...I dunno man. I haven't talked to her since she left," Ryan admits.

Silence falls between them; Seth speechless for the first time in a long time, Ryan thinking silently. Would it be a bad thing? Not necessarily. Is it a good thing? Not particularly.

"So uhh, how'd she look?" Seth asks, finally breaking the silence.

"She looked good man. Really, really good. Healthy."

"Well I guess that'd a given, Marissa always looks good; healthy or not."

Just as Ryan's about to reply he hears the twins on the other end scream 'MOMMY' as the run around the house and he laughs.

"That would be my queue," Seth says. "It's like a siren. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah, good luck."

"Yeah," Seth laughs, hanging up.

Ryan reaches over and also hangs up, dropping he sandwiches into his warm frying pan. He then rinses his hands and dries them on the dish towel while walking to the back door. "Lil!"

"Hmm?"

"Go get cleaned up, dinners almost ready," he tells her.

"'Kay!" she yells back.

* * *

Later that night, after eating her favourite meal with her father (his specialty; nobody makes grilled cheese sandwiches like he does) and bonding over the fact that it still tastes as good as it always has, Lily watches her father as he watches some hockey highlights earlier in the season. She thinks back to conversation she'd heard between her dad and her un-biological uncle; before running back to her chair.

'_How'd she look?'_

'_She looked good man. Really, really good. Healthy.'_

'_Well I guess that's a given, Marissa always looks good; healthy or not.'_

It's the way her dad describes her that caught her attention; like it was an accomplishment, like he was proud...like he really cared.

It's the way Seth asks him; seriously, like he already knows the answer but he wanted to be sure. Seth is never serious.

But even more so, it's about the name. Marissa. _Marissa._ She recognizes the name but she doesn't know why/ she can't place it, though she knows she's heard it before. Marissa. Marissa.

Finally it dawns on her. The woman her parents used to talk 9fight0 about wasn't Melissa or Melanie, it was Marissa!

She knows she should stay out of it, be curiosity gets the best of her and she finds herself walking into the living room carefully. "Dad?"

"Yeah Lil?" he asks casually, making a face when once hockey player hits another. He looks up and notices the serious look in her eyes so he turns off the TV. "What's up?"

Lily hesitates shortly and sits on the arm of the couch. "Who's Marissa?"

"What?" he asks, taken aback. So much so, that had he been standing it would've knocked him right over.

"I heard you and uncle Seth talking. And I used to hear you and mom talk about her," she admits softly.

"Lily-" he says in a warning tone.

"Dad, don't treat me like a child. Just tell me...who is she?" she asks, looking at him hopefully. Who is this woman in your life that I know nothing about?

"She's an ex-girlfriend..." he whispers, hating that he has to be so open with her.

She shakes her head. "But that's not all she is, is she?"

Ryan sighs, rubbing his face tiredly. The last thing he wants to do is tell her the truth because that opens all sorts of doors he's been trying to keep closed for years. It enables her to find out more about his past. But he can't lie to her. "We dated on and off for 3 years."

"She's the one who did a number on you, isn't she?" she asks suddenly, connecting the dots; realizing that all of those times she overheard her dads buddies say _'she did a real number on him'_ they were talking about Marissa.

"Where'd you hear that?"

"The guys from work," she shrugs. "I always knew they weren't talking about mom." The second she says this, he hangs his head. "Dad it's okay, I'm not upset. Mom made her decision and it didn't include us."

"Lil-"

"If you want to talk about her-Marissa I mean-"

"Lillian!" he says loudly, almost losing his cool on her like he did on Seth when he would bug him about Marissa. "I just...I can't."

Lily nods silently and stands up awkwardly. "I'm uh...I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to bed." She kisses his cheek before fleeing up the stairs.

* * *

The next morning Lily Atwood wakes up on mission-having made the decision last night before finally falling asleep at around 2:00 in the morning. She had been up well past her dad, thinking of what she can do to help. All she had been able to concentrate on was this Marissa girl and she must be important to her dad if he's going to react like that. He's always been a guarded person-which may be why it had never worked with her mother. But he's never snapped at her like that before. Which can only mean one thing; he doesn't want her to know something. So naturally, she has to know.

She's decided to turn to the one person who doesn't hold back. The only person who doesn't think before he talks. Because if anyone's going to tell her what she wants to hear in this family, it is her uncle Seth.

So when she wakes up, she throws on a pair of jean shorts and a white tank top and skips down the stairs to find her father walking in the front door in his running gear-sweat pants and a wife beater. "Hey dad!"

"Hey kiddo," Ryan grins, wiping the sweat off of his forehead with his forearm. He closes the door and follows his daughter into the kitchen. "So, about yesterday-"

"It's okay dad," Lily tells him, grabbing a bagel out of the basket on the counter. "You don't want to talk about it, I get it."

"I know, but still, I shouldn't have snapped at you," he says softly, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

"I know, " she says softly. She stuffs the last of her bagel into her mouth and takes a sip of his orange juice. "I'm gonna go for a walk 'kay?"

"Okay...you'll be home when?"

"Like lunch?"

"Okay, be careful," he calls out as she walks quickly towards the front door.

"I love you dad!"

"I love you too!"

* * *

Lily jogs up the stairs to Seth and Summer's house and knocks on the door. As if on cue she can hear the small voices of her 5 year old cousins. The door opens and the twin boys run past her yelling a quick 'hi' , and her aunt Summer tails behind. "Hey Aunt Summ."

"Hey sweetie. If you learn nothing else from me, don't have twins." Summer grins, to let her know she's just kidding and kisses her cheek quickly. "I have to go drop the kids off at day camp."

"Is um, Uncle Seth here?"

"Yeah he's in the kitchen. Boys!"

Lily giggles as Summer summons her children towards the car. She walks into the house and closes the front door before making her way towards the kitchen. She walks in to find sketches all over the counters. "Hey Uncle Seth."

"Hey Lil."

"Working at home again?"

"Yeah, it's less hectic," he says, flipping through his papers. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if we could talk. But if you're too busy I can come back?"

"No, you know what? I could use a little break before I get started. I'm all ears."

Lil giggles and leans against the counter. "What do you know about Marissa?" as soon as her name leaves her mouth, she notices how her uncle seems hesitant.

"Uh, you know about Marissa?"

"Not really. I overheard you guys on the phone last night," she admits. "So I asked him about it and he won't talk about her."

"Yeah well, for good reason," he mumbles.

"So there is a story? And it's more than 'we dated on and off for 3 years' isn't it?" she presses.

"Oh it's way more," he blurts out, before inwardly cursing himself. "Your dad is going to kill me."

"She's important to him. Isn't she?"

"Yes." He bites his tongue to keep from saying anything else.

"Tell me about them Uncle Seth," she pleads.

Seth groans. "I can't, Lily. I can't, you're dad would kill me. I'm already risking a dead arm by talking to you." Lily frowns at him and he smiles mischievously. "But...I can you this. Once upon a time Ryan and Marissa were the most talked about couple at Harbour. And the most talked about people in Newport. It's not hard to find the gossip in this town." Lily smiles softly. "Do with that information however you'd like. Just don't tell your dad."

"I won't." Lily grins.


	4. Research

**Research**

The next day, while Ryan and Lily visit with Seth and Summer and the twins, the thirteen year old manages to sneak out for a 'walk'. With the laptop that Seth let's her borrow sometimes. She isn't exactly sure why she needs a laptop until Seth tells her that the majority of the things that have happened can be found there.

A few hours later she finds herself at the Crabshack; a small diner on the pier, with the laptop and a strawberry smoothie. She turns on the portable computer and when the screen turns on she realizes that working one of these things-especially with the mouse is harder than it looks. She manages to open the internet and get to 'Google' when she realizes that she doesn't have a napkin. She slides out of the booth and collides with a large, hard body. "I'm so sorry," she apologizes quickly, looking up to the face of the boy the body belongs to. He's got dark hair and blue eyes, along with perfect eyebrows, perfect lips and a perfect nose.

"No problem," tall, dark and hansom replies.

She smiles shyly. "I can be such a klutz sometimes."

"Hey it's no big deal," he laughs.

"Kay...cool," she whispers softly, her napkin completely forgotten now.

"I'm Chase." The brunette smiles, sticking his hand in front of him.

"Lily," she smiles, shaking his hand. The contact sends shivers up her spine.

"As in the flower," he grins.

"As in Lillian Atwood. But only my dad is allowed to call me Lillian."

"I'll keep that in mind," he teases. "What's with the laptop? Early start on the school year?"

"What? Oh, no. Um..." she trails off awkwardly and sits back down in the booth in front of the subject in question. "I'm just doing research."

"Oh."

"Yeah, it's no big deal."

"Wait," Chase says, realization dawning on him. "Did you say Atwood? As in Ryan Atwood?"

"Yeah. You know my dad?" she asks, confused. He looks her age, not her fathers...

"Are you kidding?!" he throws himself into the booth across from her. "Everyone knows your dad. He's like a legend."

"Really?"

"Hell yeah!"

Lily smiles. "Do you know Marissa Cooper?"

Chase smirks, leaning back into his seat. "She's even more of a legend than your dad. In fact together they were like a super legend."

"Super legend?"

"Yeah. People talked about them all time-still do. They were in and out of the news sometimes too."

"Wow..." Lily whispers, and it finally makes sense that Seth said she can find it on the internet.

"So you really don't know about them?"

"Well my dad doesn't exactly talk about her, or any of it," she admits.

"Oh."

Another idea pops into her head and she grins. "Hey, how much do you know about them?"

"Uh, everything," he laughs. "That's what's so great about the gossip in this town."

"Okay, cool. How much can you tell me?"

He grins and shrugs casually, leaning forward on his elbows. "How much time do you have?"

* * *

About a half an hour and two smoothies later, Chase has finished talking about the Oliver situation. He's already told her about the fire at the model home that was cause by a fight between her dad and Marissa's boyfriend at the time. _'It was just the first of many fights he got into for Marissa Cooper,'_ Chase had said.

Then it was cotillion, the annual ball held to introduce the young 15 year old women into society. Naturally Marissa was going with Luke, until she showed up with Ryan. A few hours later, after being introduced and given to Ryan, they danced their choreographed waltz. Then Jimmy Cooper (Marissa's dad) got into a fight and naturally Ryan jumped to the rescue. It turns out that Jimmy had been embezzling money from his own clients.

A few weeks later, Marissa OD'd in Tijuana on their 'end of the summer' trip to Mexico. After learning of her parents' divorce and finding out that Luke was cheating on her, she swallowed half a bottle of pain killers and washes it down with Tequila. Ryan found her in an alley-unconscious.

School started up a few days later and with Marisa out of the hospital, she puts together the annual Harbour Kick Off Carnival. At the carnival, Ryan races to the Ferris wheel though he's afraid of heights, and sits with Marissa. Everyone sees their first kiss.

Then there was Oliver; a guy Marissa met while going to therapy after Christmas. Only Ryan had seen him for who he was. Everyone else had fallen for his charm. When the truth finally came out, Ryan and Marissa had already broken up. But when Oliver started to act crazy and held her hostage, Marissa called Ryan who raced to the rich kid's penthouse. It was Ryan who talked him down. Once their statements were taken by police, it was all over the news.

"So what happened?" Lily asks curiously.

"Um, well, that's when your mom comes in. I guess your parents hooked up-the whole 'we used to do this all the time' thing. Then she left and Ryan and Marissa got back together for a while. Her mom got engaged to Newport's richest man-at the time anyway-something Marissa publically despised. And then your mom came back again, pregnant. Your dad wanted to make it work with Marissa, but I mean...who can actually do that you know? He was sixteen." He watches Lily nod sadly. "So they spilt and your dad went back to Chino with your mom. For you."

Yeah, he seems to do that a lot," Lily mumbles. A part of her is proud that he did the right thing-even then. And she's happy that he loved her-even then. But she feels bad for breaking their hearts.

Chase nods awkwardly, taking her silence as permission to continue. "Two months later, Ryan came back-you mom said she had a miscarriage which we all know was an obvious lie. And just when Ryan and Marissa are about to pick things up where they left off, your dad found out she'd been doing the gardener all summer." Only when the word 'doing' is out of his mouth does he realize how insensitive it sounds. "You know, for company any comfort..."

"Seems fair enough," Lily admits.

"Not for your dad," Chase argues softly. "For obvious reasons."

"He was still in love with her."

Chase nods and leans forward, resting his arms on the table. "They tried to be friend, you know? He got a girlfriend-some boring redhead. And Marissa also got a girlfriend-"

"Whoa what?!" Lily almost screams out of shock.

"Oh yeah," Chase laughs. "It was big news then too."

"Wow..."

"It was just a phase though-an experiment I guess. Ryan knew, her mom knew, even the girl knew. Marissa legitimately like the girl but she wasn't-"

"My dad."

"Exactly." He watches the girl in front of him for a minute and she stays silent, seemingly thinking. "A few months later they got back together around the same time your uncle got out of jail."

"Uncle Seth was in jail?" Lily asks confused. She's sure if he had been to jail that she would know about it.

"As in Cohen? Hell no! Trey," he clarifies. Lily stares at him blankly. "Trey Atwood? Your dad's biological brother? You don't know him?"

Lily shrugs. "Dad doesn't really talk-at all. Case in point."

"Yeah well for good reason," Chase mumbles.

Lily looks at him curiously. His attitude seems to change from upbeat to unrecognizable in seconds. "Why?"

"Try...he uh, he attacked Marissa."

"What?"

"Yeah. He was stoned-apparently- and in love with Marissa."

"Oh my God..."

Chase nods. "When the truth came out and your dad found out, he completely lost it-went on this rampage...he would've killed him. Until Trey got the upper hand. Marissa tried to stop it but Trey was killing him so she shot him. To save your dad."

Lily looks down, guilt washing over her. "That's why he doesn't talk about her," she whispers sadly.

"Not necessarily. Trey lived and took off."

"And..."

"And strangely enough the shooting brought them closer. It was separate schools that messed them up," Chase tells her. "Once word got out that Marissa shot someone-even to save the life of someone she loved-the parents committee at Harbour kicked her out. Then Ryan lost his cool and punched the dean and got himself expelled. Marissa went to public school and Ryan got home schooled. Eventually they were both let back in, but by then the damage was already sort of done."

"Meaning?"

"She got really close to this guy Johnny at Union and-"

"He came between them. Like Oliver."

"Nah. No Johnny was nothing like Oliver. Ryan and Johnny were pretty actually-friends even. Even when Johnny fell in love with her. Your dad just got...insecure, I guess, about Johnny but she chose him-time and time again. And then Johnny died."

"Died?"

"Hell fell off a cliff. He got drunk after Marissa told him she wasn't in love with him. Your dad tried to catch him but it was too late." He looks awkwardly and when he looks back up a tear falls down the beautiful girl's cheek. "Marissa took it really and she blamed herself. It put a huge hole in the RyanMarissa relationship. They broke up, saw other people...the usual."

"Yeah," Lily whispers.

Chase nods and continues. "They were gonna to college together. But then she decided to go sailing with her dad to the Greek Islands. And your dad found out the truth about you. The rest is history."

"Wow."

"See why they were so popular?"

"Definately," she giggles softly. She isn't sure what to do now. She's got what she wanted and a whole lot more...

"So are you gonna tell me why I just told you all that?"

Lily smiles softly. "I think he saw her the other day."

"Really? She's back in town? Wow."

"Yeah. He got all quiet and distant and then I heard him talk to my Uncle Seth and...I've never seen him like that. Ever," she admits. She knows she probably shouldn't be telling a complete strangers all about her dad, but considering he seems to know more about Ryan that she did... "He was never in love with my mom. And if he's still in love with Marissa..."

"I know where she lives-or at least where her mom lives," he offers.

"Really?"

"Definately," Chase laughs. "I can take you."

"yeah, okay. Um, tomorrow though? I have to get home."

"Yeah, sure." He leans back.

"here, I'll give you my address." She reaches forward and writes it on his palm with the pen from her pocket.

"Your number could work too," he smirks. Her gaze meets his and he grins confidently. "you know in case I get lost."

"Lost?" she asks sceptically, a small smile forming on her lips.

He shrugs as she writes her number too. "It happens occasionally."

She giggles softly and turns off the laptop before putting it in her bag. "So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll call you," Chase says, grinning widely.

"Kay," she smiles, turning to walk away. She walks out the door, passing a couple of guys on the pier who give her the new-girl-once-over look. Thinking back to Chase, she wonders briefly if that's how it felt when her dad met Marissa-like you've known the person forever...ad the shivers that are still running up and down her spine.

* * *

Lily walks through the Atwood front door and walks through the foyer to the kitchen where her dad is pouring a glass of filtered water. "Hey." She places her bag on the counter.

"Hey, I was about to send out a search party," Ryan jokes, glancing behind him to see her smile.

"Yeah, sorry."

"What were you doing?" he asks curiously, putting the water back in the fridge.

"Oh just, you know...I met a friend," she says changing the subject. She's relieved when Ryan doesn't seem that nervous.

"Oh yeah?" He grins.

"Yeah, he's really nice."

"He?" his grin falls into a much more serious frown.

"Dad," she giggles.

"I'm just, you know, making it clear," he excuses casually, though his head is swirling with all sorts of thoughts.

"He's just a friend dad, and I barely know him."

"Good."

Lily glares at him-a glare that Uncle Seth says is identical to her dads.

"What'd you do?"

"Talked," she shrugs. She opens the fridge and pulls out the carton of juice, then walks around o get a glass. "We're hanging out tomorrow."

Ryan nods, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. He's always been afraid of this day. Sure she had friend that were boys in school, but that was different. "Okay."

"Dad."

"Hmmm?"

"It's no big deal," she reminds him softly.

"Yeah, sure, I know. What do you want for dinner?"

"Thai," she grins, not missing a beat.

"Thai it is," he laughs, grabbing the phone. He walks by her and ruffles her hair playfully.

"DAD!"

* * *

_So that one was really short. I just wanted a simple way for Lily to learn about Ryan and Marissa's past. Let me know what you think! The next chapter will have lots of RM in it!!_


	5. First Meetings and Awkward Dates

_Hey guys thanks for the reviews! This one has some father-daughter moments as well some RM moments!! And of course there's a little bit of drama. It's really long, but enjoy!!  
_

**First Meetings and Awkward Dates  
**

Ryan gets up early the next morning and goes for his daily run, just before sunrise. He tries desperately to shake the thought of his little girl hanging out with a kid he doesn't know. A boy.

Last night after Lily had gone to bed, he'd practically pounced on the phone and called Summer. She tells him to chill out; to trust Lily. She also reminds him that Ryan and Marissa had hung out mere hours after they had met also. Strangely enough it doesn't seem to settle his mind. He knows more than anything that sometimes you fall too hard, too fast. He forgets to ask her about Marissa.

But while running along the beach, he finds that it's not that difficult to find something else to think about; not when Marissa Cooper is around. She's the one girl who seems to invade his thoughts day and night. In fact ever seeing her the other day, the only time he hasn't thought about her was last night.

He thinks about the last time he saw her, the last time he talked to her. He should've told her what he really thought, what he really wanted. Maybe then he wouldn't have broken Theresa's hear by giving her false hope that one day he could love her. Maybe then Theresa wouldn't have broken Lily's heart. Maybe then he and Marissa could've had the life she had always wanted-that he always wanted. Then again, maybe it wouldn't have changed anything.

A few hours later, after picking up breakfast from the diner, he kicks the front door closed and walks through the foyer towards the kitchen. "Lily! I've got-" he pauses when he finds his daughter reading a magazine at the counter in the middle of the kitchen, "-breakfast."

Lily laughs and jumps out of her stool to grab the tray of two drinks. "Strawberry smoothie?"

"Yep," he smiles, placing the brown paper take out bag on the counter. He pulls out two Styrofoam take out dishes and hand one to her. "Eggs and sausages."

"And hashbrowns?"

"You can't have eggs and sausages without hashbrowns."

"My thoughts exactly," Lily grins, taking her stuff back to her place at the counter.

"Great minds think alike." He takes a bite of his hashbrown and turns to look at his daughter who smiles at him before turning her attention to her breakfast. "So what are you and...your friend doing today?"

"Just hanging out," she replies casually. "He's gonna show me around.

"What, my tour wasn't good enough?" he asks, faking a hurt expression.

Lily laughs, rolling her eyes playfully. "He's gonna shoe me all the hang out's I guess."

"Uh-huh. I see how it is," he teases lightly.

"Face it dad, the last time you were a teenager was 10 years ago."

"Are you saying I'm old?"

Lily sticks her tongue out at him and finishes up her breakfast. The phone rings and she jumps out of her seat to get it before her dad. "Beat you," she giggles.

"This time."

She smiles, leaning against the counter. "Hello?" she can feel her dad's eyes watching her as she listens to Chase. "Okay. Yeah. I'll leave now. Bye." She hangs up and puts the phone back on the holder. "I gotta go dad, I'll be home for like dinner, or before."

"What, I don't get o meet him?"

"Later, I promise," she calls as she runs out the door. She walks down the driveway to find Chase drive up on a BMX bike. "A bike?" she laughs.

"What'd you expect?" Chase laughs back.

"Oh, I dunno, a Camero?"

"Rich kid joke, nice," Chase teases, though he's only fourteen. "Hop on. You might like it."

Shaking her head, Lily climbs onto the back of the bike, her feet standing on the two metal pegs attached to back wheel as Chase pedals down the street.

* * *

Lily jumps off the back of the bike and Chase follows suite, leaning it against the staircase leading up to the Roberts house. She smiles at him and jogs up the stairs. Chase follows and stops behind her as she rings the doorbell. "You ready for this?"

"Yeah why wouldn't I be?"

"Well I mean, she's your dad's ex...and your mom-"

"My mom has nothing to do with this," she says quickly. "And..."

The door opens, interrupting her thought, to reveal red haired Julie Cooper-Nichol-Roberts. And suddenly she feels stupid for not putting two and two together earlier. Julie Cooper; Marissa Cooper.

"Hey sweetie," Julie says, smiling at the two kids in front of her, one she hasn't seen in years.

"Hi Mrs. Cooper."

"How are you? Did your dad send you?"

"No, he doesn't know I'm here. So if you could-"

"I'll keep your secret," Julie smiles.

"Is um, Marissa here?"

"She's in the backyard, getting a tan. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Please," Lily smiles.

"Of course," Julie smiles back, stepping back to let her in.

"I'll just wait out here, stand guard," Chase says, smiling awkwardly.

Lily smiles back and follows Julie towards the backyard. She thanks the older Cooper woman and hesitates in the doorway when she sees Marissa Cooper lying on one of the many lawn chairs. She was absolutely right the other day; Marissa belongs in a magazine; even in her cute white and gold bikini. Suddenly she's more nervous than she was before. She walks closer to her and clears her throat nervously. "Hi."

Marissa sits up and turns to face the young girl behind her. "Um, hi..." she says, slightly confused. This girl looks really familiar but she can't tell why, or how...

Lily smiles awkwardly. "You don't know me, but you know my dad."

"Okay? Can I ask how?" Marissa takes off her sunglasses and stares in confusion as she tries to place this girl.

"I'm Lily Rose Atwood."

The second 'Atwood' leaves her lips, Marissa's stomach turns. "Lillian..."

"Lily. Only my dad calls me Lillian and only when he's mad at me and only 'cause he won't not," the thirteen year smiles softly.

Marissa can't help but, though she can barely believe it. "Yeah, sounds like him."

"He says you dated. But he doesn't talk about himself-or you. So I asked Seth and..." she trails off, unsure of what exactly she wants to say.

"But your mom-" she starts, though she isn't sure why. She already knows the answer.

"My mom bailed," Lily murmers, shaking her head. "He loved my mom but... I dunno I guess I always knew that he didn't _love_ her. They weren't magical like Grandma and Grandpa or Seth and Summer pr-"

Marissa looks down sadly, fumbling with her hands. "That was a long time ago."

"Please come and see him?" Lily pleads, smiling softly.

Marissa smiles weakly. "I dunno Lily... Things happened and-"

"I know. I heard. But...I think he still loves you Marissa," Lily whispers softly. "And that has to mean something. Just come home with me and talk to him."

"Okay... I'll just go change and we can leave."

"Yay!" the brunette squeals, before covering her hands over her mouth in shock at her own outburst. "I mean, thank you."

Marissa laughs softly and walks first into the house. "Mom?"

"Yeah honey?"

The two girls follow the voice into the kitchen where Julie is preparing lunch. "Mom I have to go..."

"Sure thing sweetie."

Lily smiles at Marissa as she disappears into the hall and then upstairs. She rests her hands on the counter awkwardly.

"Are you here on a Ryan mission?" Julie asks, smiling with her back to the young Atwood.

Lily smiles and nods when Julie turns to look at her.

"Why don't you go up and see if she needs help? She may take a while."

"Okay," Lily laughs.

"It's the fourth door down the hall."

The young Atwood nods and follows the direction Julie had just given her towards Marissa's room. She walks into the soft pink room and glances around at the furniture; the giant four poster bed with the white duvet, a long dresser in addition to the walk in closet behind the white doors, a tall mirror, a bedside table with all sorts of ornaments.

"Hey," Marissa says walking out of her closet with an armful of clothes, still in her bikini.

"Your mom said you may need help," Lily informs her.

"She's probably right," Marissa admits, sifting through the various items of clothing. She holds up a pair of jean shorts and a fancy white top to her body and looks at Lily. "Too much? I should be more casual right?" she feels like she's fifteen again and getting ready for her first date.

Lily shrugs, smiling.

"Casual, okay." The nervous blond continues to sift through her shirts until she finds a light blue one with the Eiffel tower and a bunch of funky designs on it. "How about this?" she holds it up with the shorts.

"It's perfect," Lily nods. She doesn't say it, but she's pretty sure that a girl like Marissa can pull off any combination and look great doing it.

"Great." Marissa smiles and wiggles into the jean shorts before pulling her top over her head. She shuffles over to her mirror and fixes her hair quickly, brushing her fingers through it. She turns back to Lily and smiles shyly. "Okay."

"Okay," Lily echoes, following her out of the room, down the hall, down the stairs and to the foyer.

Marissa grabs her keys off of the table next to the door. "Bye mom!"

"Bye girls, have fun!"

Rolling her eyes, the blond opens the door, motioning to her new friend to go first. Following suite, she closes the door behind, turning to face two teenagers now. "Hi," she says, looking at the dark haired boy.

"Hey, um, I'm Chase Taylor," Chase says awkwardly. "Her...friend."

"Oh, okay. Are you gonna tag along?"

"Yep," Lily answers quickly.

"You can put your bike in the trunk," Marissa says, leading the kids down to her red mustang.

"Excellent."

* * *

Lily is the first person out of the car when Marissa pulls into her driveway. Chase follows. And Marissa hesitates nervously, wondering why in the world she agreed to come here, before doing the same. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asks softly, walking up behind the two kids.

"What better way to find out than to just do it?" Chase says casually.

"Just let me go first," Lily says, pushing open the front door.

Marissa agrees silently, staring down at the ground. Her stomach is turning nervously and her hands are shaking with fear. The fact that he still makes her feel like this scares her more than anything.

Meanwhile in the Atwood living room, Ryan lays sprawled out on the couch, balancing the remote for the TV on his forehead. He's been bored out of his mind all day-with Seth and Summer at work and the Cohen's also working. He has yet to reach his starting date at the Newport Group. And it doesn't help knowing that Lily is out with some guy he doesn't know. He wonders briefly what Marissa could be doing and as if on cue he hears his daughter walk in.

"Hey dad!"

"Hey kiddo," Ryan says, feeling a little bit relieved as he sits up quickly.

"I brought a friend home, I hope it's okay."

"As long as I meet them first," he replies, pushing himself to feet as he turns off the TV. That's when he sees _her_ lurking in the background, looking as beautiful as ever. He freezes, unsure of how to react; his mouth feels like sandpaper.

Marissa stares back, their gazes locked. She stuffs her hands into her front pockets.

"So you probably have tons to talk about," Lily says, grinning widely. "We're gonna go." She walks past Marissa and grabs Chase's t-shirt, pulling him towards the exit.

"Are you sure it's okay to leave them alone? Unsupervised?" Chase wonders out loud, closing the front door behind them.

"That was the whole point," the cunning Lily Atwood reminds him.

"Yeah but did you feel the tension? I did, and it was very uncomfortable," Chase says seriously. He walks around to the trunk of Marissa's car to get his bike.

"But did you see his face?"

"Yes. He looked really uncomfortable."

"Exactly! That silent, tortured look can only mean one thing. He's still in love with her," she says smiling proudly.

"Or he really doesn't want to see her," Chase argues.

Inside, the tension filling the air around them and between them-physically and metaphorically-is so intense that it makes both ex-lovers want to scream.

Ryan watches her intently, pausing only to look her over and take in her presence. His stomach turns wildly with nervousness and his thoughts start to jumble in his head. He feels like the 15 year old boy who gave a cigarette and a cheesy pick-up line to the impossibly beautiful stranger she had been. He was, and currently is, shy and nervous and scared out his mind. "Hey..." he manages to stumble, shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

Marissa smiles nervously. "Hey..."

"So uh, she's so not subtle," Ryan says, relieved that he doesn't stutter like he is in his mind; over and over again.

"Yeah, no kidding," she laughs awkwardly.

Ryan nods and lifts his arm, scratching the back of his head. "You uh, want a drink? Water? Juice?

"Water's fine," she whispers. He walks past her and she can smell his cologne. She smiles softly. He still wears the same cologne. She follows him, looking around the living room, the kitchen and into the family room. "Wow. This place is beautiful."

"Thanks." He turns around and slides a glass of water across the counter to her. "Kirsten did it-bought the house."

"It's really nice. The decor is fabulous..."

Ryan nods and takes a sip of his own glass of water, craving the liquid in his too dry mouth.

"So Lily seems really sweet," Marissa says, leaning her hips on the counter.

"She is," he says smiling softly. He takes another awkward sip.

Marissa smiles weakly and looks down at the glass between her hands. Silence falls between them and she knows it shouldn't come as a surprise. Communication was never their thing. But even this comes as a surprise to her. "You know, it's hard to believe that after all this time we have nothing to say to each other," she whispers.

"Maybe that's why," he mutters. Her gaze flickers up and his falls guiltily.

Sighing softly Marissa slides the glass of water back towards him. "I should go. So...I'll see you around." She turns quickly and wipes the fallen tears off of her cheek.

Ryan watches her disappear behind the wall before finishing off the rest of his glass and resting both hands on the counter. He grips the marble; turning his knuckles white. Once again his thoughts go unsaid.

* * *

Later that night, after an awkwardly quiet dinner with his daughter, Ryan knocks on her door softly, waiting for her soft 'hmmm' before pushing the door open. "Lil?"

"Hey dad."

He walks into the room while she sits up in the bed, resting her head on the headboard. He sits on the edge of the mattress beside her.

"You gonna tell me how it went with Marissa?" She smiles. "Nice surprise right?"

"Lily..." he groans.

"Dad," she mocks, giggling softly. "What?"

"You can't do that," he whispers.

"Do what?"

"You can't go around doing things like that!" he says loudly, almost on the verge of truly yelling at her.

"I only did it 'cause I knew you wouldn't," she argues.

"For good reason Lillian!" this time and yells guilt immediately washes over him when she looks down. "I'm sorry, it's just...it's grown up stuff okay?"

"Seems very high school to me dad."

He can't help but laugh. "Fair enough. But look Lil, whatever this is, it's between me and Marissa."

"So you admit it, there's something," Lily grins knowingly.

Rolling his eyes with a smile playing on his lips, he leans forward and kisses her forehead softly. "Get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow," he reminds her.

"Wait, why?"

He smirks, tapping her cheek with his fingers lightly. "We have a Newport event to attend."

* * *

Later the next evening Ryan and Lily watch the news in the living room. An about 2 hours, they'll have to be at this 'Newport Event'; defined by Uncle Seth as: an excuse for Newpsies to get together and drink and gossip. Lily doesn't see the point but she's still excited. "So what does one wear to a Newport Event?"

Ryan laughs and glances sideways at her. "Don't worry Lil, back up's on its way," he says, having called Summer a few hours ago for her and Marissa to come help.

As if on cue the doorbell rings before Summer invites herself in; Marissa behind her, holding two dress bags. Summer carries her own bag as well, walking into the house.

"Hey, thanks for coming," Ryan smiles as he and Lily walk into the foyer with them

"No problem Chino. Lily!"

"Hey Aunt Sum!" Lily moves past her dad to hug her. She pulls back and smiles at Marissa. "Hey."

"Hey," Marissa whispers, smiling back.

"So let's go get ready," Summer says, pulling her niece up stairs, leaving Ryan and Marissa alone in the foyer.

"So thanks, again," Ryan says awkwardly, shifting on his fee nervously.

"Well, you know me-fashion advice is my specialty," Marissa smiles softly.

"Yeah. And uh...about Lily and yesterday-"

"Lily's great Ry," she assures him. "You raised her well."

Ryan grins. "Thanks." He watches as she smiles softly before disappearing up the stairs to help his daughter. There was no denying that at times Marissa Cooper can be really selfish. But what very few people know is that she can be very, very selfless too. Like when she let him go to Chino with Theresa-no questions asked. Like when she shot his brother-not thinking about the consequences she'd have to deal with. Like whenever he needed her-she was there, even if he was being a dick. Like right now; she'd agreed to help with Lily despite his attitude towards her yesterday. Sometimes her selflessness amazes him.

A couple hours later, Marissa puts the last clip into Lily's hair before taking a step back. Summer has already left to help Seth put the twins to bed before the sitter gets there. "You look beautiful Lily."

"Thanks," Lily grins, looking at her reflection in the mirror. They'd dressed her in a cute but simple black strapless dress with matching flats. Her hair is half up; half down, held in place with a few bobby pins.

"You look so much like your mom right now," Marissa whispers, thinking back to the party she brought Theresa to in an attempt to be friends and stay on Ryan's good side.

Lily nods and moves to sit on her bed while Marissa curls her own hair, clad in a beautiful red dress with spaghetti straps. "Did you and my mom get along?"

"Uh...yeah we got along okay. We weren't best friends or anything but...we liked each other," Marissa replies.

"What about when she got pregnant? I mean...did you hate her?"

"No," Marissa whispers, looking at the little girl on the bed. "No, she needed Ryan more than I did. You both did. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control. It just happened..."

Lily nods silently. "I hate her."

"Your mom?"

"Yeah. She destroyed your relationship with my dad; more than once. And then she left. She left him feeling like he failed me and she ruined any future she has with me."

Marissa nods, smiling weakly. She isn't sure what to do or say so she stays silent. She isn't at all surprised though that she's so mature about everything; because Ryan was more mature as a teenager than most adults were.

"He hasn't failed me. He's the best."

"Yeah, he is," the awkward blond agrees softly. She turns then to face the young girl. "Ready?"

"Absolutely," Lily exclaims excitedly, jumping to her feet. Both girls walk down the stairs. "Hey dad!" she yells, bouncing over to him in the family room.

"Hey kiddo." Ryan turns around and faces his very grown up looking teenage daughter. "Wow, you look beautiful Lil." Though it makes him nervous to see her like, he can't deny that she looks beautiful.

"Thanks. You clean up well too," she giggles, tugging playfully on his tie.

"Yeah? You like it?" He grins, looking down at his suit.

"Kind do."

Ryan laughs, glancing up at Marissa who's standing a few feet away. He looks her over casually, trying to make it subtle. His gaze travels from her soft wavy hair, to her shining blue eyes, her plump lips, her beautiful; curve hugging dress and her long tanned legs.

Lil notices his not-so-subtle look over at Marissa and grins to herself. "Doesn't she look stunning dad?"

"Uh-huh-we gotta go, c'mon." He motions for both girls to go through the door first before grabbing his keys, sighing softly and following them to the car.

* * *

A few hours later, Lil is finally beginning to feel comfortable in her dress. She's always been a jeans and t-shirts kind of girl-like her dad; with the occasional skirt and fancy top. Besides, wearing fancy clothes in Chino was like wearing a giant red target. But it seems like Newport, fancy clothes are a requirement.

Especially at these Newport Events because everyone is wearing tuxedos and gowns. There isn't an ounce of casual to be seen inside the country club.

For most of the night she's either been with her dad, or she's been spying on her dad with Marissa. And she must say, she's done a really good job. Ryan and Marissa are really getting along now; talking, smiling, laughing.

She feels a warm hand on her shoulder that sends shivers down her spine. She smiles, turning to face Chase. "Hey."

"Hey," he grins. "Spying on your dad?"

"A little bit," she giggles, glancing back over at her dad and Marissa just in time to see Seth and Summer leave them. "They look happy. Don't you think?"

Chance glances over at them then back a Lily Atwood. The smile on her lips and in her eyes is enough for him. "Yeah, they do."

Meanwhile across the room, when Seth and Summer disappear into the crowd, Ryan glances at Marissa who smiles. He smiles back before looking around the room for his daughter. He sees her near the desserts table talking to a dark haired kid. A boy. Probably the boy she's been seeing-not seeing-hanging out with. "Do you know who that is?" he asks, facing the beautiful blond beside him curiously.

Marissa follows his gaze to where Lily and Chase are laughing. She smiles. "That's Chase Taylor. He's a good kid. He's nice and funny and kind. Plus he's good looking."

"I should go talk to her-"

"No!" she grabs his arm to stop him, before dropping it quickly when he looks down at her hand. "You shouldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because," she starts, "she'll never forgive you." The blond steps in front of him and he looks up at her. "Besides, you were way more trouble when I met you. Remember?"

"That was different."

"How?"

"It...it just was," he says unconvincingly. He knows it's not true because he knows she's right.

"Uh-huh," she giggles, rolling her eyes playfully at him.

He grins and takes a sip out of his glass of water. He looks at her, taking in her beauty in front of him-her impossible beauty. "She's right you know? You look amazing," he tells her finally.

"Thanks," she whispers, smiling shyly. "She's about you cleaning up well too."

He laughs. "She usually is."

"I'm gonna go get another drink. You want one?" she offers, pointing at his empty glass.

"Sure, thanks." He grins. He watches her as she walks towards the drinks table, her hips swaying naturally, casually. And he isn't sure what he's waiting for; all he has to do is ask her out. It seems simple enough. In high school it was simple enough. And yet he can't find the words. There's a million thoughts running through his mind and he still can't find the words or make his mouth talk.

"Here you go," Marissa says, handing him the tall glass of water.

Ryan smiles and takes it. "Do you wanna do something?" he asks suddenly.

"What, like right now?" she asks, a confused and somewhat curious glimmer in her eyes.

"No, like tomorrow. You and me. Alone," he stutters nervously. He bites his tongue to keep it from moving now.

"A date," Marissa giggles.

"Yeah. Exactly."

Smiling at his cute shyness, she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's a date."

"Okay." Ryan grins, nodding his head slightly.

* * *

Later that night, after the party has come to an end and Ryan has grabbed his daughter and said goodnight to everyone, Ryan pushes the front door open, pulling Lily in after him.

"I liked that. That was fun," Lily giggles, bouncing around the foyer, her flats in her hands. "Ow, but I think I have blisters," she whines.

Ryan laughs, locking the door behind them.

"And you and Marissa seemed to hit it off tonight..." she says suggestively.

"I guess," Ryan says softly, trying not to let her see his smile.

"Yeah. I guess it's hard not to hit it off when you've had practice," she grins.

"Practice?"

"Yeah! You must've done something right the first time around," she teases, leaning against the iron railing on the stairs.

Ryan smirks and walks past her to the kitchen. She's right (again); though he isn't sure what exactly he did do right. Nor has he ever been sure why exactly Marissa wanted or loved him...

Lily follows slyly. "So did you ask her out? Please tell me you asked her out! Did you?"

"Yeah..." he trails off awkwardly.

"Yes!" she squeals excitedly, jumping up and down. She throws her arms around him. "When?" she pulls away from him just as quickly and stares up at her father.

"Tomorrow night," Ryan says, smiling down at his daughter.

Lily grins proudly; admiringly at her dad. "I'm proud of you daddy."

"Uh-huh," he laughs. "Go brush your teeth and get ready for bed."

"Aw dad! Let's talk about your date," she insists, jumping up onto the counter with ease. "What time are you picking her up? Are you picking her up? Where are you going? What are you gonna wear? Oh-"

"Whoa hey!" he says loudly to stop her rambling. "Take it easy huh? We can talk about this tomorrow."

"But dad you have to plan-"

"I've had practice you know," he grins, pulling her off of the counter. "Now go to bed."

"Fine," she says, pouting playfully.

He pulls her into his chest and kisses the top of her head softly. "I love you."

"I love you too daddy," she giggles before skipping out of the kitchen.

Ryan watches his too young; too smart daughter in amusement before leaning himself against the counter. He's gonna be fine. It's not like he's never gone on a date with her before....

* * *

The following evening, after calling Marissa and arranging time for him to pick her up-7:00- Ryan stands in front of his closet his hands on his hips in thought. Who knew that choosing an outfit would be so difficult; especially considering Seth reminds him constantly that he only owns wife beaters and t-shirts. So really how hard can it be to choose? Apparently it's really quite difficult. He's so far out of practice, it should be illegal.

Lily knocks on her dads' door softly before letting herself in. Almost immediately she sees him staring into his closet in deep though. So deep that he doesn't even notice her. She knows he's nervous, even if he won' admit it. "Dad?"

Ryan turns around to see his daughter climbing on his bed. "Hey Lils."

"Can't decide what to wear?" she asks, smiling knowingly. Ryan grins at her sheepishly and she laughs softly. "Let me help."

He looks at her sceptically before giving in rather quickly. "Alright-"

"Yes!" Lily squeals, jumping off of the bed. "Now where are you taking her?" she asks, disappearing into the closet.

"Uh..."Ryan hesitates. The truth is, he hasn't really thought about it. "I was just gonna play it by ere-"

Lily walks out of the closet holding a pair of black jeans, a wife beater and a blue button down shirt. She stares at her dad. "Seriously?"

"Why not?" he asks, a little bit worried. When he was a teenager he knew exactly where to take a girl on a date; he had it down to a science. In Chino all you needed was a condom or two, a little bit of alcohol and a car. In Newport it was flowers, chocolates and a movie/dinner. So why does he have no idea where to take her?

"Dad! You need a plan!"

"Alright smarty-pants, give me a plan," he says, crossing his arms as he challenges her.

"Okay first you need to put these on," Lily grins, pushing the clothes into his chest. "and stick to the basics. Get her flowers. Dinner. Movie."

Ryan nods glancing down at the clothes in his arms before looking up at Lily sceptically.

"Basics dad," Lily says simply.

"Right. When did you become the expert?"

"I read," she giggles, shrugging casually.

Ryan laughs, throwing his clothes onto the bed.

"So when are you gonna be home?"

"I dunno, that's why you're going to grandma and grandpa's I'll pick you up after."

* * *

A couple hours later, Ryan and Lily pull into Sandy and Kirsten's driveway.

"I still don't get why I have to be babysat. I'm 13," Lily argues as she climbs out of the car.

"You're not being babysat-"

"But you stayed home alone when you were 13."

""Things were different when I was 13," Ryan reasons. He pushes the door open, letting Lily in first. "Hello!"

""Hi!" Kirsten calls from the kitchen.

Lily follows her dad through the house to the kitchen where her grandparents are.

"Hey!" sandy yells, wrapping his arm around his granddaughter's shoulders.

"So you have a date huh?" Kirsten grins, washing her hands.

"Yeah," Ryan murmers, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"He's nervous," Lily states.

"that he is," sandy smirks with her.

"I'm happy for you," Kirsten says softly. She always has liked Ryan and Marissa together.

"Me too," Lily giggle, watching her father shift on his feet uncomfortably.

"I gotta go," Ryan says suddenly. He kisses the top of Lily's head. "I'll see you after."

"Wait dad, don't forget the flowers."

"I won't," he laughs.

"And be careful!"

"Tell me, when did I become the one under surveillance?"

"When you started dating," Lily shrugs, smiling playfully.

He shakes his head, making a mental note to take back his power as he leaves the house. Before going to the Robert's house he drops by Marissa's favourite flower shop and buys her a bouquet. Personally he's never understood the big deal; they smell and look nice for a few days and then they die. There's no point. But he does it anyway. He comes to a stop outside the Roberts house near the bottom of the staircase and his stomach drops. He grabs the bouquet off of the passenger seat and climbs out of the car. He jobs up the stairs and wipes his sweaty, nervous hands on his jeans and fixes his shirt before knocking on the door. He sucks on his breath when he sees her behind the glass door in a jean skirt, a pink tank top and a grey cardigan. The door opens and he smiles nervously. "Hey..."

"Hey," Marissa smiles softly, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Uh, these are for you," he murmers, handing the bouquet of mixed flowers to her.

"Thank you," she giggles. "I'll just put them away, come in."

Ryan nods, following her. He closes the door and wipes his mouth nervously, following her o the kitchen. Butterflies take over his stomach as he watches her find a vase. "Where's your mom?" he asks, desperately trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

"I think she's at the spa. Or the hospital with Dr. Roberts," she muses, filling a vase with water. "Is it bad that I don't know where she is?"

"If you're Lily, then yes."

Marissa giggles softly and places the flowers in the vase, spacing them out carefully. "They're really pretty."

Ryan smiles. "So uh...I was thinking dinner and a movie? At the diner?"

"That's...very high school," she grins, "it's perfect."

Later, while at the diner, Ryan and Marissa sit in an awkward silence. They smile at each other now and then, but that's it.

"You know," Marissa starts, finally breaking the silence, "it shouldn't be this awkward. It's not like we've never had a date before."

"Yeah I know," Ryan murmers, smiling shyly. He pushes his empty plate away and leans back into the bench. It shouldn't be like this; they should have more to do, more to say. So maybe a movie isn't a good idea, because how can they talk in a movie theatre? His gut is telling him to just go with it. "Wanna go for a walk? We can just skip the movie..."

Marissa smiles softly, relieved that he asked. "Absolutely."

After paying the bill and leaving the diner for the beach, Ryan and Marissa walk side by side through the sand. Ryan's hands are stuffed deep into his pockets. Marissa's hold her purse in one and her flats in the other. Neither of them speak of where they're going, but they both know. It's quiet but it's a lot less awkward now.

Marissa glances at him out of the corner of her eye. She's been battling-internally- with whether or not to ask him the question that's been burning her mind for the last hour. Finally she takes a deep breath. "So what happened with Theresa?" she asks softly.

"Uh...she left," he says simply, not wanting to talk about it, especially with her. He knew it would come up eventually, but he also hoped it wouldn't. He knows how she feels about _that_ situation-it had nearly destroyed her...

"Yeah, Lily told me. Why though?" she asks, pressing the issue softly. She's not entirely sure she really wants to know, but she has to ask. She has to know.

Ryan sighs softly. "She just...couldn't handle it anymore I guess. She wanted her freedom." The words come out short and simple and little bit bitter.

Marissa frowns in confusion. "But...I mean that's not like her. She seemed so motherly before," she recalls, thinking back to when she had last seem the black haired mother.

"Yeah well, she changed. We both did."

Silence falls between them as they walk up the ramp to the lifeguard tower. Marissa runs her hands along the wooden wall, leaning he back against it. "You haven't changed that much..." she whispers, looking across at him.

Ryan grins, leaning back against the rail. "No?"

"Well you don't steal cars or punch people or burn down houses, but you're still Ryan Atwood," she teases playfully.

Ryan laughs, his gaze landing on hers seriously. She smiles softly and they fall into silence again. He tears his eyes away from her and looks down at the wooden platform. "So you're in town for..."

"For good," she says smiling softly.

He smiles, his gaze sliding up, looking over her lips; her soft, plump, shiny lips before finding hers. He shifts, closing the gap between them and there are mere millimetres between them and he searches her beautiful blue eyes-for what he isn't sure. She smiles though and he raises his hand to her face, his fingers grazing her cheek.

She gasps at his touch as it sends cold shivers down her spine. And just like that, her breathing becomes short and shallow and nervous. Memories of the last time they kissed flood through her mind. They're the same memories that haunted her dreams, reminding her night after night of all of the things she couldn't have. But this time is different. This time he really can be hers.

His hand cups the base of her neck, pulling her closer; his thumb tilting her face towards his. Their foreheads touch softly and his own breathing becomes husky too. Finally their lips crash together and it's like the heavens open and fireworks explode. He wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her to him desperately.

The second his rougher, chapped lips touch her smooth ones, she melts into him, her knees threatening to buckle under her. Her arms wrap around his neck pulling him to her; and also holding herself up.

Ryan pulls away reluctantly for air and presses his forehead into hers again. He opens his eyes finally to look at her and she's staring right back. "Let's just go slow huh?"

Marissa smiles softly, tilting her head to the side ever so slightly. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Ryan grins, pressing his lips into hers, enjoying and savouring ever second; every feeling it makes inside of him. Ten years. Ten years he's waited for this.

* * *

_Review! And I'll try and have the next chapter up soon. The next one's also long and full of RM goodness._


	6. The Talk

Haii everybody! I know it's been soooo long since I last posted. But I was working on a special Christmas fic, which I will hopefully have posted soon and definately will have it posted by Christmas! Anyways here's the next chapter, the title sort of says it all!

* * *

**The Talk**

A few days later, Ryan wakes up bright and early for his first day at the Newport Group. His alarm goes off at 6:30 and he immediately jumps into the shower. By 7:00 he's cleaned and shaved and changed. He wakes up his daughter, makes a quick breakfast and tells his daughter to get dressed. They argue again about her having to be 'babysat' while he pushes her out the door. She climbs into the passenger seat and he throws his bag into the back seat before climbing behind the wheel.

"So how are things with Marissa?" Lily asks curiously, changing the subject from her to her dad's girlfriend.

Ryan smiles in spite of himself as he reverses out of the driveway. "Good."

"That's it?"

"Really good," he laughs.

"Dad!"

"What?" he asks, laughing again.

"I need more than that. C'mon," she complains.

"It's only been a few days Lil. We're taking it slow, remember?"

"Yeah but you can still give me more than that," the young brunette pouts, crossing her arms over her chest in protest.

Ryan smiles softly at his daughter's interest in his relationship with Marissa. Actually it's more of a fascination. "We're good Lil. We're really good," he says truthfully.

"And you're happy?"

"Yes."

"Good," Lily grins, leaning back into her seat as she turns her attention out the window.

By the time Ryan gets to the Newport Group, it's going on 8:00. The secretary at the front desk takes him up to the top floor to where his office is located. They part ways at the elevator and he walks down the hallway to a door that reads _R. Atwood._ He smiles to himself and pushes the large glass door open, leaving it open as he walks in, glancing around the room carefully; at the large desk and black office chair, the computer, the chair opposite his own, a couch and a coffee table and he large glass wall opposite him. The curtains are drawn and he can see virtually all of Newport through the window. He thinks it's a damn good thing that he's no longer afraid of heights-as much. He walks around the desk, setting his briefcase on the glass top before dropping into the chair. An office. He has an office. Ryan Atwood has an office.

Ryan looks up just in time to see Sandy walk in. He grins at his foster father and current boss. "Hey."

"Hey kiddo!" Sandy greets loudly. He sits in the chair across from him. "Looking good."

"Yeah, thanks," the young worker laughs, leaning back into the chair casually.

"So, how does it feel?"

"It feels great," Ryan grins.

"Good. I'm glad. Now," Sandy says changing course as he pulls himself to his feet. "There's a meeting at 9 in my office." He walks over to the doorway. "There's no going back kid."

Ryan smiles as Sandy leaves. He looks around his office once more. There's definately no going back now.

* * *

Meanwhile at the Cohens, Lily sits in the living room watching V while Kirsten prepares lunch in the kitchen. Bored, Lily turns off the TV and climbs to her feet, walking into the kitchen to join her. "Hey Grandma."

"Hey Sweetie. Lunch is almost ready," Kirsten says smiling at her from behind her Newmatch binder. It's been about 10 years since her and Julie decided to go into business together and she has to admit, it's the best thing she could've ever done; both for herself and her family.

"What's that?" the young brunette asks curiously, pointing to the binder on the counter.

"It's my work binder," she replies, raising the binder to show her the cover.

"NewMatch?"

"It's a matchmaking business. We take single men and women and set them up on dates according to their compatibility," she says, flipping back to her page before turning to the stove to tend to her homemade soup. She turns off the element.

"So it's like those websites and stuff," Lily says.

"Yes. Only closer to home." Kirsten prepares their coup, pouring into two bowls. She turns around again to find her granddaughter flipping through her pages. She smiles softly. "You can help me if you want," she offers, placing a bowl in front of each of them. "I heard you're pretty good at matchmaking."

"Yeah well it's easy when you know the subjects have already made the perfect match," Lily says smiling softly.

Kirsten smiles back. She really does agree with her. Ryan and Marissa had always been the perfect couple. It was like they cancelled each other out; Marissa had the right amount of drama and Ryan had the right amount of stability. Granted, sometimes it didn't work out with them, but they were perfectly compatible and perfectly dysfunctional.

"So how can I help?" Lily asks, blowing on her soup to cool it down.

"Well," Kirsten starts, pulling out a file with the name Cara Hampton on it. "This woman wants a date for Friday night. I have to go through her file and find the men that are most compatible with her. You can help with that?"

"Cool!"

* * *

At the exact moment that Marissa Cooper pulls out of Dr. Roberts' driveway, her phone rings on he dashboard in front of her. She grabs the ear piece attached to it and sticks it in her ear, turning down the music and pressing the talk button on her phone. "Hello?"

"Coop! Hey," Summer greets on the other end.

"Hey!"

"You know what I realized?" the brunette mother of two asks, continuing without an answer. "Even when Seth works from home-which has been the last week, he still doesn't help gets the kids ready or day camp! So I'm the one who gets them dressed, packs their bags, makes their lunches AND drives them which means I don't have time to make my own lunch. So then I have to spend like fifteen minutes in line for a friggin' salad, all the while Seth sits at home on his ass." She stops talking finally, and takes a deep breath.

"So tell him Sum. Tell him you need help sometimes," Marissa says softly.

"Have you ever really talked to him though? It's like talking to a brick wall. It goes in one ear and out the other. And it only gets worse when he's working on a comic book," Summer complains.

"C'mon Sum! He's scared of you. All you have to do is tell him you need help 'or else' and h'll do it. What happened to the bossy Summer we all knew and loved?" the blond asks playfully.

"She had twins."

Marissa laughs softly. "Just threaten him."

"And if that doesn't work?"

"Blackmail him. You're good at that."

"Hmmm. I am, aren't I?" Summer laughs confidently.

"You are," Marissa giggles.

"Okay what happened to us? Normally I'm the one telling you what to do."

"I know right?"

"Speaking of, how are things with Chino?"

"I can't believe you still call him Chino," the blond laughs.

"Old habits die hard Coop. I married Cohen after all," Summer jokes. "Now, you and Ryan."

"We're good," Marissa grins to herself.

"Good? That's it? That's all I get?"

"We're really, really good, "Marissa giggles. "In fact I'm surprising him for lunch."

"Right on Coop! Let me guess, you're gonna help him christen his office-"

"Summer!"

"What? It's a legitimate question! You guys were like rabbits in high school-"

"Us? What about you and Cohen?" Marissa argues.

"We're not talking about me and Cohen," Summer side steps. "But if we were I'd say at least we could keep our hands off of each other in public," she teases.

Marissa smiles in spite of herself. "Touché." She pulls into the visitor's parking lot for the Newport Group, purposely leaving out the part where her and Ryan have yet to sleep together this time. It's part of their 'taking things slow'. She isn't complaining because it isn't a bad thing, but it's getting harder and harder to keep herself in check. Especially considering he drives her crazy with just one look. "Sum I gotta go," she says, climbing out of the car. "I'll talk to you later okay? And talk to Seth!"

"Yes ma'am. Bye Coop!"

"Bye," the tall slender blond locks her car and walks into the building. She glances around the lobby at all the suits and expensive paintings. Walking up the front desk she asks for Ryan Atwood and to keep it a secret. The secretary gives her the directions with a polite smile. Marissa follows them to find his office door open. She glances into the room to Ryan sitting at his desk, flipping through some papers. She knocks softly.

Ryan looks up to see Marissa standing in the doorway. He grins. "Hey."

"Hey," she smiles, walking into the room. "Nice office."

"Yeah, it's not bad," he jokes. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd surprise you for lunch," she says, leaning her hip against the side of the desk. "I mean, if you can get away," she teases.

"Definately," he grins. "I just gonna put these in order." He continues to sort through the papers. "It won't take long."

"Kay." She smiles, taking advantage of the time given to her to walk around the office. She walks to the glass window and touches it lightly with her fingers as she takes in the view. "Wow..."

He looks up to find Marissa staring lovingly out the window. "Amazing huh?" he places his files into a pile on the corner of his desk.

"You know...post cards don't do nearly enough justice for Newport's beauty," she whispers.

"Yeah I know," he agrees, pulling himself to his feet. He loosens his tie and undoes the top butoon on his shirt. He walks up behind her, placing his hands on her hips.

"I really missed this place."

"I really missed you," he admits, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder.

Smiling softly, she turns to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I missed you too," she whispers, pulling him in for a kiss.

Ryan kisses her back slowly, pushing her back against the glass softly. He deepens the kiss, pushing his tongue past her lips.

"Mmm, we should go," Marissa murmers into his lips.

He laughs, pulling back from her. "Where are we going?" he asks, reaching for her hand and pulling her out of the room.

"I dunno, the diner? The Crabshack?" she suggests, following his down the hall. "Oh! That chip wagon on the beach!"

"Wow. I haven't been there in years," he muses.

"I know, me either!" she exclaims excitedly.

Ryan laughs, pulling her into the elevator with him. "The chip wagon it is."

* * *

Later that evening, while Lily hangs out with Chase (much to Ryan's dismay) he and Marissa decide to go to the pier for ice cream and walk along the beach. After a long day at work and picking up Lily from the Cohens, Ryan has arrived home to find Marissa setting his dining room table. Apparently she'd dropped by to see Lily and Kirsten after having lunch with him for a key to the house. She called it a "congratulatory dinner"; mac n' cheese and grilled cheese sandwiches. They ate poolside, much like their first date. And when Marissa disappeared into the house with the dirty dishes, Lily poked him in the shoulder playfully. 'Yeah dad, you guys are going real slow,' she'd teased. Then Chase called and asked Lily to hang out and Marissa convinced Ryan to step down and let her go.

Now, a few hours later as the sun begins to set over the ocean, Ryan grabs her empty ice cream cup and throws it (along with his) into the garbage can nearby.

"So how is it?" Marissa asks, jogging to keep up with him.

"How's what?" he asks, wrapping his arm around her waist absently as the lifeguard tower gets closer and closer.

"Work," she says smiling. "The office. The desk. The suit," she teases, tugging on his jacket playfully.

"I could do without a suit," he says, only half joking. She laughs. He smiles genuinely. "No, it's great. I really like it." He pauses thoughtfully. Feeling her gaze on him, he faces her. "Truthfully though, I never would've thought in a million years that I'd be here-there."

"I did," Marissa whispers softly. "I always knew you'd go somewhere Ry."

"Yeah but I didn't even go to college-"

"So? You worked your ass off," she reminds him. "You fixed the Cohens house remember? You interned at the Newport group in senior year, you worked construction for 10 years. You were made for this."

Ryan smiles softly, pulling her into him as they walk up the ramp at the tower. He pushes her back against the wall softly and presses his forehead into hers. "Thanks," he whispers.

She smiles, resting her head back on the wall behind her. "You're welcome," she says softly.

He presses his lips into hers softly, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist; between the small of her back and the wall. He feels her lips smile into his. "Hmmm?" he murmers, his own lips coming into contact with her teeth. He laughs, pulling back slowly.

She looks at him lovingly, running her fingers through his hair. "Nothing," she whispers, smiling.

He smiles back softly. "It's just like old times huh?"

Nodding, she kisses him softly. He responds, deepening it quickly. The light breeze feels good on his skin and her hair tickles his face. He lifts his hands up, brushing her hair back and tucking it behind her ears.

They hear voices and laughing and screaming and they turn to the side to see Lily and Chase running and playing o the beach. Ryan watches intently as Chase grabs her around the waist and throws her over his shoulder.

"Looks like we aren't the only ones who retreat to the beach," Marissa comments, also watching; with a small smile.

"Please don't say that," he groans, pulling back from her. He leans back on the rail, gripping it tightly in his hands.

Marissa looks at him, noticing the tenseness in his structure; his arms flexing. It creates butterflies in her stomach, but she ignores it. "Ryan, they're just hanging out," she says softly.

"They're hanging out a lot," he points out; fatherly-like.

"We hung out a lot," she reminds him.

"That was different."

"Yes," she says softly. "You stole a car, burned down a house and punched Luke-all within the same week."

He glares at her, before looking down. He knows she's only trying to help; reminding him that not all guys are 'bad boys', even if they look (and sometimes) act the part.

"He's a good kid Ry."

"I know..."

"And so is Lily."

"I know," he says sighing softly. "I just...I haven't even met him."

"Well, I have," she smiles. She moves forward, playing with the fabric of his t-shirt. "If she likes him-and I think she does, she'll tell you eventually. And she'll introduce you. And you will like him."

"Maybe," he replies, giving her that. "But I don't want her to date. She shouldn't be allowed to date until she's at least 30."

Marissa laughs softly. "Oh the words of a father."

Ryan can't help but laugh in response. He remembers telling Lily on her fifth birthday that she wasn't allowed to date until she was 30. At the time she laughed and agreed, not having a clue what he meant by it. Now that she's 13, he wishes she still didn't know the meaning/ she's too young-for boys, for dating, for sex. Oh god. His stomach drops at the thought of his daughter-his baby girl-having...doing _that_.

Marissa sees his eyes widen and the muscle in his jaw tense. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asks softly.

"She's not allowed to date. No way."

"Ryan-"

"Because dating means kissing and touching and sex and that can't happen." He moves to walk down the ramp, in the direction of his daughter and her 'friend'.

Reading his mind, Marissa grabs his arm, pulling him back to her. "Ryan you can't."

"She's too young 'Riss-"

"I agree, but if you do this, she'll NEVER forgive you."

"Then what do I do?" he asks calmly, resting his hip on the railing again.

"Well, you can have 'the _talk' _with her," she suggests. "I mean unless you've already had it-"

"She's thirteen."

"Okay, then yeah. Have 'the talk' with her," she repeats

"I don't...I'VE never even had 'the talk' before. I don't know what to say," he groans softly. "And she's a girl..."

"Yeah," she whispers, understanding his innuendo of how uncomfortable it would be. Her father didn't want to be the one to talk to her about it either. "Well, you know, when my mom and I had it, she just said, like the basics. About safe sex and condoms and pills..." she trails off grinning at the way he scrunches his face in dislike. "And that she needs to wait and be with someone she really cares about."

He grins suddenly at the idea running through his mind. "It's settled then."

"What?"

"You can talk to her."

"No-Ryan, I can't," she stutters nervously. She can't talk to his daughter about that. She can't. Right?

"Why not?" he asks, frowning at her.

"Because she's your daughter! I'm...I'm not anything-"

"You're my girlfriend," he says smiling at her. She smiles back. "And she likes you. She looks up to you. You're a girl, so it won't be that awkward." He lists the reasons, staring at her. "And, no offence but you know better than anyone that you should wait for someone special."

"What about you?" she asks defensively. She isn't offended. It's more of a last ditch excuse.

"That's different," he says softly, not wanting to hurt her. Because the truth is, while he knows he could've waited for her, the fact that he didn't had made it that much better for him. "Luke slept with your mom."

"I know," she sighs.

"Please babe?"

She can't help but smile at her old pet name, and the puppy dog look in his eyes. "Okay. But only because she's your daughter. And I'm your girlfriend."

"You _are_ my girlfriend," he murmers, leaning in to kiss her. "You're a great girlfriend."

"Glad to hear it," she giggles, pulling him into her.

Meanwhile down near the shoreline, Lily giggles loudly as Chase threatens to drop her into the shallow water. "No!" she squeals. "Please don't! Chase!"

Laughing, Chase walks out of the water and puts her down carefully.

"Jerk," she giggles, shoving him lightly.

"Hey isn't that your dad?" he asks, looking forward at the couple at the lifeguard tower in the near distance. He nudges Lily with his shoulder.

"Yeah, and Marissa. This is awesome!" she laughs, jumping up and down like a small child. "She made dinner for us tonight. Do you know what that means?"

"That she must be a good cook?"

"Well yeah," she agrees, tucking her hair behind her ear. "But it means it's getting serious-it has to be. I've never even seen his eyes wander before and now...it's awesome."

Chase smiles at her enthusiasm and her dedication to her father's happiness.

"Let's go say hi!" she grabs his arm, pulling him faster down the beach.

"Uh...are you sure?" he asks sceptically.

"Yeah. You have to meet him sometime."

"Now?"

"Yes," she laughs softly. "Do you really think he's gonna keep letting you take me places without knowing who you are?"

He stops, looking at her nervously, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Lily laughs, tugging on his arm again. "I'm kidding. He's not that bad."

"Really? 'Cause he was bad with Marissa's boyfriends and she's definately not his daughter."

"It'll be fine. Besides, Marissa's here too so the timing couldn't be better. Dad!" she yells, running towards the lifeguard tower. "Marissa!"

Ryan turns away from Marissa to see his daughter climbing up the ramp with Chase behind her. "Hey princess," he grins, pulling her into him and kissing her forehead.

"Dad this is Chase, the guy that I told you about," Lily says, looking at Chase then back at her dad.

"Hey Mr. Atwood, Marissa," Chase says, nodding at both of them politely.

"Hey Chase," Marissa smiles.

"It's nice to finally meet you," the young teenager says nervously as he offers his hand.

Ryan looks him up and down before catching a glimpse of Lily's hopeful eyes. "You too kid," he says shaking his hand.

Chase breathes a sigh of relief silently, smiling at Lily.

"So what are you guys doing?" Marissa asks casually, laying her hand on Ryan's shoulder.

"Just hanging out," Lily shrugs. Although the truth is, she isn't sure _what_ it is they're; whether it's a date or just two friends hanging out. Either way, it brings butterflies to her stomach

"Yeah we were just about to get a Balboa Bar," Chase adds. "You guys want one?"

"No, we're good," both Ryan and Marissa say simultaneously.

"Dad, Chase is gonna teach me how to surf," Lily says excitedly.

"You surf?" Ryan asks the boy curiously.

"Yeah, since I was a kid, like 5 or 6," Chase says casually, shrugging his shoulders. "My dad did, and my grandpa so...it was kind of inevitable."

"You any good?"

"Yeah, I guess. I dunno," the nervous blond says modestly. The truth is he's never really paid much attention; surfing is just something to take his mind off of things.

"Does Sandy still surf?" Marissa asks, looking at Ryan curiously.

"Yes! It's awesome!" Lily grins.

Ryan smirks. "Are you kidding? Getting Sandy to skip surfing in the morning is like pulling teeth; not impossible, but very painful."

"Yeah for all parties involved," his daughter laughs.

Marissa laughs too, remembering some of the mornings when she'd sneak out of the poolhouse only to run into Sandy coming home from his morning surf.

"Surfing in the morning is the best," Chase agrees, smiling slightly. "That's when the tide is the highest."

"Can I go tomorrow dad?" Lily asks, smiling hopefully.

Ryan glances at Marissa, silently asking for reassurance and/or back up. She smiles and he looks down at his daughter and her friend. He hates that he actually kind of like this kid. "Yeah, it sounds fun."

"Yes!" Thank you daddy!" she smiles, hugging him tightly. "We're gonna go but I'll see you at home." She pulls away.

"Sounds good."

"Wait Lily," Marissa says, stopping the young Atwood on the ramp. Lily turns around to look at her and it hits her suddenly that she's got Ryan's eyes. It almost knock the wind right out of her but she composes herself quickly. "I'm going to the mall tomorrow, if you want to tag along."

"Really?" Lily asks, smiling. She catches a glimpse of her dad watching them proudly.

"Yeah. It'll be fun. I can pick you up at like lunch? I mean, unless you guys-"

"No, it's cool," Chase says quickly. "We'll be done by like 10:30 or so anyway."

"Okay. Cool."

"Cool," lily smiles. "I'll see you later."

"Bye Lil," Ryan says, watching briefly as his daughter and Chase walk far into the distance. "Thanks," he says again, turning to face his girlfriend. "It means a lot."

Marissa smiles, leaning in to kiss him. "You owe me."

"Yes I do," he murmers into her lips.

"You did well with Chase."

"Yeah, he's cool," he says softly , pushing her into the wall carefully. "Now, where were we?" he grins, pressing his lips into her giggling mouth.

* * *

The next day Ryan wakes up to find that Lily was already up-at 6:30 in the morning. By 7 o'clock she'd already showered and dressed and started to make French toast for breakfast. After showering and getting dressed himself, Ryan walks downstairs while simultaneously doing up his wrist cuffs. There's two plates on the counter, both uneaten. "Hey."

"Hey dad. I made French toast and strawberries. And orange juice for me and black coffee for you." Lil grins motioning to the two plates and glasses.

"Special occasion?" Ryan laughs, popping a strawberry into his mouth.

"Nope. Just breakfast."

He grins, taking a sip of his coffee.

"thanks for letting me go today, with Chase I mean."

Ryan nods, biting his tongue to keep from playing the 'protective father card'. The last thing he knows he should do is do _that_. "Just be careful."

"I will dad," Lily laughs, eating her breakfast. "I always am."

He continues to eat his own breakfast. When it comes time for her to leave, he kisses her forehead, pasts her cheek with his fingers the way he always does and tells her to have fun. Secretly though, he doesn't want her to have _too_ much fun.

At lunch, after Marissa calls to assure him that she and Lily are on their way to South Coast Plaza, Ryan decides to call Seth. He leans back in his chair, waiting patiently for his brother to pick up while the phone rings in his ear.

"Hey man," Seth says into the phone on the other end.

"Hey."

"How's it going?"

"Good. Busy. You?" Ryan asks.

"Yeah, same."

The new office employee laughs suddenly. "You're working at home."

"Yeah, so I've heard. So what's up bro?" Seth asks, changing the subject. "I feel like we haven't talked in ages."

"We talked yesterday."

"Don't mock me, I'm needy Ryan. How are things with Marissa?"

"Why is it that every time I talk to someone they always ask about Marissa first?" he asks, smiling despite the question. He doesn't mind it, really. It's always been like that-everyone asking about him and Marissa as if checking in on them now and again. Only nowadays it's way more often.

"Because dude! I dunno about everyone else but for me it feels good man. Damn good. Do you know how long I've waited for you guys to get back together? Since high school. And now that it's finally happened, it's like my dream come true."

Ryan laughs, shaking his head. Seth always did have the notion that Ryan and Marissa belonged together. "I thought your dream come true was Summer?"

"So I have a lot of dreams. Point is man, the Fantastic Four is back! That's awesome."

The blond smiles. He's right; his weird-comic book writing brother is right. The Fantastic Four is back. They are once again fantastic. And he thinks that maybe he and Marissa _do _belong together. It's not that he didn't think so before, he just wasn't sure what it really meant; if it was even possible to have a _soul mate_. If it was even possible to _belong_ with someone. But he has to admit, whether he belongs wih her or not, he wants to be with her; he needs to be with her.

"But things are good right?" Seth asks seriously.

"Things are still good man. Really good," Ryan assures him, like he does with his daughter nearly every morning.

"That's what I like to hear! What about the Lilster?"

"Lister? Seth?"

"It's a nickname."

"Mmmm, wow," Ryan laughs. "She's good. "

"Wow. It's not often that everything is good for you. This is nice."

Ryan ignores him, though he does hear him. "She's with Marissa actually. They went to the mall."

"Ahhhh, the mall. It doesn't matter how old you are, the mall is always a safe haven for chicks."

"Seth don't say chicks. Especially when my daughter is involved."

"Yeah good idea. She seems to really like Marissa huh?"

Ryan smiles. "Yeah she does. She really does."

"That's good man."

"Yeah. And uh...I asked Marissa to talk to her."

Seth laughs. "Well I'd hope so otherwise it's be one boring trip to the mall."

"No, I mean, the _talk..._" Ryan clarifies.

"The talk? The talk...oh! The _talk_! Dude, wow..."

What?"

"I just...isn't that weird? Your girlfriend giving your daughter the sex talk?" Seth asks curiously, whispering the word 'sex' for no apparent reason.

"It'd be weirder for me to give her the talk no?" Ryan points out fairly.

Seth seems to think about it for a minute. "Yeah true. Especially in your case."

"Yeah well-"

"You know what this means right?" Seth asks, smiling excitedly.

"Huh?"

"You and Marissa have no choice but to speed things up now."

"Yeah," Ryan laughs. "It's not so bad."

"That's what I like to hear!"

* * *

"Ahhhh, home sweet home," Marissa gushes as she and Lily walk through the giant front glass doors of South coast Plaza. "God I've missed this place." She looks around properly at all of the things that make this building South Coast.

"I love malls," Lily says, looking around in awe at the magnificence that is South Coast Plaza. Malls in Chino never looked like this. In fact the only mall in Chino was a strip mall-and it wasn't even a quarter of the size of the parking lot here. "I don't get why guys hate it so much."

Marissa laughs. "I think guys just hate it when us girls are involved."

"True."

The blond smiles as they step onto the tall escalator. "So did you have fun with Chase this morning?"

"Totally. Except I didn't even get in the water. Apparently the first lesson is always on land," Lily tells her.

"Yeah I heard that too," Marissa laughs, remembering what Johnny told her one day. "So where do you want to go first?"

"Beats me, you know this place better than I do."

The blond smiles again as they step off the escalator. "I do, don't I? Oh South Coast! It has been way too long." She giggles, pulling her boyfriend's daughter through the halls.

A few hours, a number of stores and a long conversation later, Marissa and Lily stop in a little Starbucks shop in the food court.

The talk had gone really, really well. Marissa had started with the basics: safe sex (condoms/the pill/abstinence), the consequences of unsafe sex (pregnancy, STI's, etc). Neither of them mentioned the elephant in the room, a.k.a Theresa. Then she went into the 'theory' behind waiting to have sex; waiting for the right person. She even goes so far as to tell Lily her own experience with Luke and Ryan. She went on to say, quote; "the one who's worth waiting for, will wait for you in return".

Now both girls are settled into a booth sipping their respective iced drinks.

"So just so you know, you can talk to me. And your dad. About anything," Marissa says softly, leaning into the back cushion.

"I know," Lily smiles. "Thanks. Speaking of dad, did he ask you to do this? It's okay if he did, dad's not exactly a talker."

The blond laughs. "I know. And he did, but only because he didn't want it to be uncomfortable-for either of you."

"Yeah. Thanks again."

"No problem sweetie."

"So, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Does dad hate Chase?" Lily asks softly, looking down at her cup.

"Oh, no, sweetie of course not. He doesn't hate, he just doesn't know him," Marissa says reassuringly.

The young Atwood nods slowly. "He seemed cool yesterday. Then again maybe he was just trying not to interrogate him."

"Well he _is_ your father. So it _is_ his job."

"I know," she giggles.

A few more hours later Lily pushes her front door open, giggling as she and Marissa step into the foyer. "Dad?!"

"Hey," Ryan grins, walking out of the family room to meet them. he pauses when he sees bags upon bags in his daughters hands. "Whoa. Buy enough stuff?"

"i got a little carried away," Marissa admits, smiling innocently.

"You should see what Marissa got dad," Lily giggles.

"Hey, like I said, I got carried away!"

"Clearly," Ryan teases, laughing when she sticks her tongue out at him..

"I'm gonna go take this upstairs," Lily says, walking to the stairs. "He dad can Marissa stay for diner again? That was so fun before."

"I don't see why not. Unless she has plans?" he replies, looking at his girlfriend just as hopeful as his daughter is.

"Nope, no plans."

"Cool," Lily smiles, running up the stairs.

Ryan grins, pulling Marissa into him quickly, his arms falling into place around her waist. He presses his lips into hers firmly. "You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to."

"I'll pay you back-"

"What, no!" Marissa says, pulling back. "Ry, it's okay. We had a lot of fun-doing girl stuff. And you kow me, I love to shop."

"Yes, you do," he agrees.

She smiles, kissing him again.

"So how'd it go?"

"Good, really good. She's well informed if I do say so myself," she says smiling proudly.

"And Chase?"

"Well, she likes him," she replies, sliding her arms around his neck. "But they're still getting to know each other." Ryan groans, making her smile. "Hey it's a good thing. They're moving slowly."

"They're surfing at 8 o'clock in the morning."

"At least they aren't hiding out in model homes or trying to spend the night," she says, reminding him of the things they did when they barely knew each other.

"Mmm, good point," he murmers, taking the hint.

* * *

Later that night, after eating burgers and fries and watching movies, Lily decides to go to bed early, leaving Ryan and Marissa alone in the living room. Ryan sits with his legs raised on the coffee table while Marissa leans into him, her legs curled up on the couch beside her.

"She must be really tired to go to bed early," Ryan comments, watching the credits from the previous movie roll.

"She was up earlier than you, remember?"

"True," he agrees, absently running his fingers up and down her side.

"I should go," she whispers, moving to get up.

Ryan's faster though and he grabs her around the waist, pulling her back down on the couch. He pushes her onto her back and climbs between her legs, hovering over her. "Or you can spend the night."

Her expression changes from amused to shocked in less than a second. "What?" she asks, though she had definately heard him.

"Stay," he murmers, staring down at her. "Spend the night. I have boxers and a wife beater you can wear."

"Are you sure it's okay?" she asks, referring to Lily.

"Well..." he grins, leaning in to kiss her softly. "We aren't teenagers anymore, this is my house and Lily is asleep."

"Mmm good point."

"Speaking of bed, mine's calling my name," he says, crawling off of her and climbing to his feet. "Coming?" he sticks his hand out to help her, grinning widely.

Marissa smiles and takes his hand. She giggles as he pulls her to feet quickly. She pecks his lips and lets him pull her towards and up the stairs.


	7. Issues

_Okay! First things first Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! And second, I know I said I was gonna have the Christmas story up by Christmas, but it turns out that apparently I forgot how crazy the holidays can be. So I apologize for lying! And also, sorry for taking so long to update, I'll try not to let it happen again. _

**Issues**

Like the last three mornings, Marissa Cooper wakes up wrapped in Ryan's strong, secure embrace. Ryan Atwood. She smiles to herself for the third morning in a row. She glances at the clock next o the bed that reads 6:00am and settles back into his arms for that extra second. It feels _so_ good. After 10 years of not feeling him even remotely this close, she doesn't ever want to leave the safety that is _Ryan_. But she knows she has to, because she has to leave before Lily wakes up. That was the deal with her spending the night. Shuffling out of his grasp, she sits up in the large king sized bed, running her hand through her hair. She jumps slightly when his arms wrap around her waist again, sliding underneath her t-shirt.

"Where are you going?" Ryan murmers into her shoulder, dropping a soft delicate kiss onto her porcelain like skin.

"Home," she giggles, leaning into him. "It's six o'clock Ry."

"So?" he murmers, tilting her face towards his, kissing her softly. "Five more minutes."

She giggles, deepening the kiss. "I have to go. Lily's gonna wake up soon," she says, pushing him back lightly. "And you need to get ready."

Ryan groans, falling back on the bed, watching as she peels his boxers off and pulls on her jeans.

Marissa catches him and smiles, throwing the boxers at him. "Perv."

"Can't help it," he says shrugging playfully. He also climbs out of bed in his pyjama pants. "Sneaking around never gets old." She grins, remembering the last time they did just that; he had a bruise on his elbow for a week to prove it.

"Yeah," she giggles, "it's very dangerous."

"Very dangerous," he echoes, pulling her into him.. he kisses her, playing with the fabric of her t-shirt. "Go," he murmers.

"Kay," she murmers back, but doesn't move.

"Go."

"Kay."

"Go."

Laughing, Marissa pulls away. "I have to go. Stop," she says sternly. He steps back raising his hands up in surrender. He smiles, grabbing her purse off of the chair in the corner of the room. "I'll call you later," she whispers, slipping out of the room. She tip toes down the hallway carefully and quietly. She turns the corner, colliding hard with something that she's pretty sure was never there before. With Lily. "Umm, hi," she stutters, waving awkwardly at the 13 year old girl in front of her.

"Hi," Lily replies, smiling awkwardly.

"I was just-I was um...I was..."

"Sneaking out?"

Marissa smiles sheepishly, the colour rising in her cheeks. "Something like that," she whispers. She remembers the first and last time Sandy had caught her sneaking out of the poolhouse after spending the night. _'I won't tell if you don't' _he'd said. "I should go," she quickly. "See ya." She waves awkwardly before racing down the stairs. The second she closes the front door she leans against it, letting out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding.

* * *

Ryan jogs down the stairs later, showered and ready for work to find Lily in the kitchen, like she is every morning. "Morning kid."

"Morning dad!"

"Sleep well?"

"Yep. You?"

"Yep," she replies, smiling as he pours himself a cup of coffee.

"So I saw Marissa this morning," Lily says casually, smiling in amusement behind her glass of orange juice.

"You uh...you did?" he stutters, unsure of how he's supposed to react.

"Yeah. She was sneaking out-except not really."

"Oh. Uh...." he trails off, his mind racing with thoughts and excuses. After everything that's happened with Theresa, he isn't sure that now is the time...

"Relax dad," Lily says, laughing softly. "It's fine. You guys are adults; you don't need my permission. Although I do approve," she grins.

"I know Lil, it's just...after everything with your mom-"

"Dad it's okay," she says softly, shaking her head at him. "Really."

"Okay," Ryan says, smiling down at his daughter. "Okay good."

"It's funny though dad, you guys act more and more like teenagers every day," Lily laughs, teasing her father playfully.

Rolling his eyes, the father of one makes a playful face at his daughter. Though it isn't much of a stretch these days-he feels like he's 16 again, not 28.

Later that day, Ryan punches out for lunch before calling Marissa. He can only imagine what was going through her head this morning.

"Hello?"

"Hey!" he greets cheerfully, leaning back into his chair.

"Hey!" she says, smiling softly to herself. "I was gonna call you but Kaitlin made me go to the spa with her."

"Kaitlin's back?" he asks curiously. The last he heard, the youngest Cooper had been travelling Europe with her boyfriend Justin.

"Yeah she got in last night. We had a good time."

"That's great."

"Oh we got busted this morning," she says matter-of-factly. "I ran into Lily, literally. She knows Ry..."

"I know, she told me."

"What? Really?"

He laughs, nodding his head though she can't see him. "Yeah."

"Why are you laughing?! It's not funny," she says defensively.

"Aw c'mon, it's a little funny," he says, continuing to laugh. He can't help it.

"It's embarrassing! It's worse than getting caught by your parents."

"You just suck at sneaking out that's all," Ryan teases.

"Ryan," she groans.

"Okay, okay. But look," he starts seriously. "I talked to her about it and it's okay. It's fine. She's fine with it," he clarifies.

"Really?" she asks sceptically.

"Yeah. She 'approves'," he says, smiling to himself.

"Even after Theresa?"

"Yeah. She doesn't talk about Theresa, or anything to do with her."

"Oh..."

"We're fine," he says reassuringly.

"Okay...good. That's good."

"Yep. Lily's sleeping at Sandy and Kirsten's tonight so we have the house all to ourselves. And probably most of tomorrow too," he says, grinning at all the alone time they'll get.

"Oooooh, very nice," she giggles. "But I can't stay long tomorrow, I promised Summer some girl time."

"Party pooper," he teases playfully.

"Sorry," she laughs, leaning back onto the pool chair. "Pick me up after work?"

"You got it."

Marissa smiles, looking up as Kaitlin walks out of the house and joins her in the backyard. "Kaitlin's here, I should go," she whispers.

"Kay, I'll call you later."

"Kay. Bye," she says hanging up. "Hey Katie."

"That Ryan?"

"Yeah."

"You know I really am happy you guys worked it out. It took long enough," Kaitlin says laying on the chair beside her sister.

"I know, me too," the blond smiles.

"So did I hear you right earlier? Lillian Atwood caught you this morning?" she asks, laughing like the little sister she is.

"Lily," she corrects automatically, "and yeah. I literally ran right into her, it was so embarrassing," Marissa groans.

"Wow, I wish I could've been there. Getting caught by the boyfriend's daughter, you're on a whole new level," Kaitlin jokes.

"Shut up," Marissa laughs, growing anxious for Ryan to finish work.

* * *

Clad in a pair of jean shorts and an old Journey t-shirt, her hair in soft pigtails, Lily Atwood walks back to the where Chase is waiting for her on the pier. She hands him a Balboa bar, sitting beside him. "Hey."

"Hey! It's about time," she says, scolding her playfully. He takes a bite of his ice cream. "Mmmm, thanks."

"You're welcome," she replies, laughing softly. "Oh before I forget, I caught Marissa sneaking out this morning. We walked right into each other."

"No way!"

"Yep. She was all flustered and embarrassed. It was funny," she laughs.

"Wow..."

"And I told my dad."

"What'd he say?"

"Well he also got all flustered, so I just told him it was okay," she says, shrugging her shoulders casually.

Chase smiles, eating his ice cream. "Did you tell him you've seen her every other morning too?"

"No," she laughs. "I figured I'd let him think he got away with it."

"Good idea. You don't wanna ruin his manly hood."

"Exactly! I'm such a good daughter."

Chase smiles again, watching as Lily smiles proudly at herself. "You are," he agrees. "Not many kids would do what you did to get your dad with someone who isn't their mom. Most kids want their parents together," he points out softly.

"Well I certainly don't want that," Lily says, taking a bite of her ice cream bar.

"I know," he whispers softly.

"So, what do you have planned?" she asks, changing the subject quickly.

"You bring your bathing suit?"

"Yep."

"Well, I know this place," he says, grinning as he pushes himself to his feet. "It's super top secret, nobody ever goes there."

"Oooooh very mysterious," she giggles.

"You in?"

"Definately."

* * *

Later that evening, after having dinner with Sandy, Kirsten and Lily, Ryan and Marissa say good-bye; Ryan kissing his daughters on the forehead before leaving. The ride back to Ryan's house is quiet; comfortable and quiet. It's the kind of quiet that they're used to. They don't need words to communicate-they never have. All they need are looks and simple touches to communicate.

Ryan pulls into his driveway, lifting his hand from the spot on her leg to put the SUV in park.

"That was nice. I missed dinners with Sandy and Kirsten," Marissa admits, unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Yeah," he says climbing out of the car. He walks around to open Marissa's door. "They're pretty stoked that we moved back. We can have family dinners all the time now."

"That's awesome," she smiles, following him to the door.

"Yeah," he says, pulling out his house keys. "Seth's been over the family dinner for years. But I guess when you've had a lifetime of lonely dinners, another lifetime of family ones isn't nearly enough."

She rubs his shoulder affectionately before walking into the house first. He follows her, closing the door behind them and she continues into the kitchen. "Thirsty?" she asks, making herself at home.

Ryan grins, following her lead. He likes that she can do that; that she can be so comfortable with him and Lily, even after all this time. He leans on the doorframe, watching as she pulls out ingredients to make a smoothie. She looks at him questioningly, and he realizes that she's still awaiting an answer. "Oh, no," he replies.

"What are you doing?" she asks curiously.

"Nothing," he says quickly. She turns back to the blender and he continues to watch her. It's been two weeks and he still sometimes needs to pinch himself to make sure he isn't dreaming; to make sure it's real. She turns, throwing a strawberry at him. "Hey," he laughs, throwing it into his mouth. Yep, this is definately still real. He grins, walking towards her slowly. His arms snake around her waist, slipping under her shirt carefully. He kisses her shoulder, making his way to her neck slowly and teasingly.

Marissa smiles, turning to face him slowly. His lips crash into hers and she giggles at how quickly he opens her mouth. He slides his hands up her sides to her arms, wrapping them around his neck. He presses her into the counter softly, wrapping his arms around her waist again.

"My smoothie's gonna get warm," she murmers into his lips, giggle softly.

"So make another one," he murmers back gently. He pulls back slowly, letting his lips linger for a moment before stepping back. "C'mon," he whispers, grabbing her hand and pulling her out into the hall.

"But my smoothie!"she squeals playfully, letting him lead her to the stairs. "Lily would be very offended to know that you ruined my smoothie."

"Mhmm, well, she's not here," he says, grinning as he pulls her up the stairs. He stops at the top of the staircase and backs her against the wall carefully. Crashing his lips into hers, he picks her up and she wraps her legs around his waist in response. "I have a surprise."

"Oh?" she giggles.

Nodding, he wraps his arms around her to support her back and walks towards his bedroom. Coming up to the door, he turns the knob carefully, pushing open the door.

Turning to face the inside of the room, a giant smile curls on her lips and tears spring to her eyes. "Oh my God." She wiggles out of his grip, looking around the room in awe.

Ryan watches her look around at his hard work. Red rose pedals and white candles are scattered around the room and over the bed. It's a lot like their first time in the tiki hut-only without the hut and the sand. he smiles smugly at his own hard work.

"This is awesome," she whispers, skipping into the room. She jumps on the bed and kneels on the mattress, looking at him. "It's not even Valentine's Day. What's it for?"

He shrugs, walking further into the room as he closes the door behind him.

"How did you do this?" she asks, a little bit confused.

He laughs. "I uh...snuck away while you were helping Kirsten with dinner."

She smiles softly, running her fingers through the rose pedals. "Why?"

He shrugs again, walking closer to her. "What's with all the questions?" he asks, smiling softly.

She shrugs in response, shifting to the end of the bed when he stops at the footboard. She sticks her fingers into his two front pockets, kneeling on the mattress in front of him.

Ryan smirks, slipping his arms around her slender frame, his own fingers slipping underneath the hem of her shirt. The truth is, all of this-the roses and pedals and candles-it doesn't_ really_ mean anything. It's a nice, romantic gesture to remind her of how much she really does mean to him. Just like the tiki hut. He presses his forehead against hers carefully, pulling her into him. He moves one hand up, burying it in her hair, cupping the base of her neck while his thumbs stroke her cheek softly.

Her breath catches in her throat momentarily while his is hot and quick, tickling her face softly. It's a lot like their first time, the way the air around them gets thick with tension-physical and otherwise. Time doesn't stop, but it seems to slow down a helluva lot. She swallows, nervously, the lump in her throat. She isn't sure why she's so nervous because it's not like they haven't done it before; it's not like they've never made love before. In fact, after the night they spent in the tiki hut, it had never been a problem for them again. She remembers being _so_ nervous-scared to death is more like it-that night. And she remembers wondering (very briefly) is he was nervous too. And then he kissed her and all of the thought that had been floating around in her mind had disappeared. The fact that he was a million times more experienced than she was, had stopped mattering. The fact that she would be leaving in less than 24 hours didn't matter. All that mattered in that moment, much like in this moment, was that she was giving herself to him-totally and completely. She raises her gaze to meet his, slowly and timidly.

He locks eyes with her, swallowing the hugely sized lump in his throat nervously. And he thinks it's ridiculous that he's _this_ nervous; that he's still _this_ nervous with her. With her of all people. He hesitates, staring at her and he's never felt _more_ 17 in his life. The last time he'd been this nervous, this completely terrified was in the tiki hut. At first he hadn't known why he was scared and then at some point between asking for her approval and laying her down, it had dawned on him. It's about the sex or his performance; it was about the girl. It was about the _only _girl. It always has been. It was about the fact that they'd waited two years to get there. It was about the fact that it would never be_ just_ sex with Marissa Cooper. It was about the fact that she was leaving in 24 hours time and while he wasn't sure that he could just let her leave after all was said and done, he couldn't let her leave without showing her either, he had everything to lose back then and he was scared out of his mind. And here he is, eleven years later and he's still scared out of his mind. He smiles softly, letting out a breath he forgot he'd been holding. "You wanna do this? 'Cause we don't have to..."

She nods, smiling nervously. "I want to."

"Yeah?" he whispers. "It's been awhile..."

She snakes her arms around his neck, pulling him closer and playing with the hem of his collar. Nodding again, she shuffles closer to him while on the bed. She closes her eyes, evening her breathing. He grins, pressing his lips firmly against hers. She seems to melt into him and he lips move in perfect rhythm with his. His heart beats faster and faster and he deepens the kiss; holding onto it while his tongue pushes past her lips urgently. She moans into his lips and the way his body reacts to the sound coming out of her mouth drives him crazy. She tugs on his neck and he slides his hands under her shirt, his fingers moving softly but firmly up her sides. They graze the fabric of her bra before pulling her shirt over her head; parting their lips briefly. He opens his eyes, frozen in his movements to find her staring at him and smiling mischievously. His eyes wander over her, taking in her presence in her black lace bra and dishevelled hair.

Confidence washes over Marissa and she starts to unbutton his collared shirt; taking charge in the smallest, sexiest way possible. His lips travel across her jaw and to her neck. She giggles and when she gets to the last button, he rushes to pull the shirt off of his shoulders while she peels off his wife beater. His lips find hers again swiftly and passionately, his hands gripping her shoulders firmly from behind. Their tongues dance together and her knees go weak so she leans back into a sitting position on the back of her legs, her fingers running along the waist of his jeans, bringing him with her.

He leans down, following her as she leans back slightly; moving his hands to cradle her face. Her fingers send shivers through his body; making him moan into her lips. He can feel her fumbling with the bottom of his jeans and he pulls his lips away from her, breathing heavily with his forehead against hers. It's driving him crazy; all of this teasing and touching. She pushes him back slightly, pressing her lips into his chest and a low; satisfied groan escapes his lips as he lets his head roll back on his shoulders. He concentrates on steadying his breathing because he thinks that if he doesn't he'll lose it. He hears the zipper on his jeans unzip and fabric sliding down his legs before her lips crash into his again. She pulls him into her and he grabs her around the waist so that he can climb out of his jeans, leaving them discarded and forgotten on the floor. He pushes her back, guiding her by her hips into a lying position on her back; climbing on top of her. He travels his lips down her throat and chest, over the fabric of her bra and down her tanned and toned abdomen, stopping at the waistband of her skirt. He runs his hands up her legs; from her ankles, up her calves and to her bent knees, then along her thighs and under the light, flowing fabric of her skirt. He hovers over her, watching as her back arches at the simple touches and he pulls the piece of clothing off of her body. Now they're both in their underwear and secretly, he's pleased. He pulls back, dropping the skirt on the floor, staring at her intently. His breath catches in his throat while she stares up at him innocently and he finds it ironic that she can look so pure and innocent, because what they're doing is the complete opposite.

Marissa can feel the colour rising in her cheeks while he stares at her and it creates butterflies in her stomach when he smiles. "What?" she whispers.

Ryan shakes his head, leaning down to press a kiss to her bent knee. He rests his chin where his lips just were, looking at her.

"What?" she asks again, giggling softly.

He smiles. "You're so beautiful," he whispers, leaving a trail of kisses along her thighs and across her stomach. Then he pauses, hovering over her, his gaze locking with hers "I love you," he says, his voice low and husky; like at any minutes he's going to break. It's been years since he's said those words to anybody but Lily. It's been ten long fucking years since he told her how he really, truly feels. It feels good. It feels so good and when she smiles he almost faints.

"I love you too," she whispers back. The words are barely out of her mouth when his lips crash into hers.

And just as quickly as it started and paused, it starts again. They roam each other's bodies, slowly and torturing and passionately. Soon enough, his white sheets are draped over their naked, sweaty, sticky bodies while they move in perfect timing with each other.

* * *

The next morning, Ryan wakes up with his arms wrapped securely and protectively around his girlfriend; his face buried into her back of her neck. His body is pressed firmly against hers; much like it's been every other morning. Except this is different. This is special. Last night was special. And it was amazing and perfect and completely mind-blowing. He can't remember the last time a woman made him feel like hat-actually he can, and it was long overdue. He raises his face, glancing a the clock on the other side of her; the red numbers reading 9:36am. He catches a glimpse of the rose pedals and smiles to himself, dipping his face into the crook of her neck, pressing his lips softly to her skin. She moves and he grins into her shoulder trailing soft kisses over her. "Hey," he whispers.

She moans, burying her face into the pillow and squeezing her eyes shut.

He laughs softly, continuing his passionate assault on her shoulder and down her arm. "Wake up," he murmers.

Smiling, Marissa opens her eyes and shifts so that she's facing him. "Hi," she whispers.

He pushes his forehead into hers. "Hey."

She pulls him down, kissing him on the lips softly. "What time is it?"

"Mmmm, 9:30," he mumbles, nibbling softly on her bottom lip. "What time do you have to go?"

"Lunch," she whispers.

"You sure you can just skip it?" he asks, pulling back to look at hr properly. His right arm is around her waist still; his left is holding himself up.

"I'm sure," she giggles softly. "Besides you're already on thin ice with Summer."

"Me? Why?"

"Yes you. And because," she pauses, laughing softly, "You're taking up all my time. Her words, not mine," she adds.

"Poor Summer," her murmers, leaning in to kiss her. She accepts, kissing him back as she opens her mouth to him. He rolls on top of her, holding himself up with both hands.

"Mmmm move," she mumbles into his lips, pushing on his chest softly. "I'm hungry."

He groans, allowing himself to fall off of her. "Now?"

"Yes, now," she laughs sitting up, holding the blankets to her chest. "If you let me eat, I'll let you do whatever you want to me until noon," she reasons suggestively.

He grins, jumping out of the bed and into his boxers. "Works for me," he responds, throwing his t-shirt at her to put on.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Marissa walks out of the Roberts house clad in her favourite pink and white bikini, carrying a tray with two tall glasses of iced tea. Her mother and Dr. Roberts are away in Cabo for the weekend and Kaitlin and her boyfriend are apartment hunting then spending the night at his parent's house in Long Beach. So she has the whole house to herself; and right now, Summer. She walks around the pool to where her brunette best friend is laying on one of the two pool chairs. "Two Iced Teas," she announces, handing one to Summer and taking the other as she lays down in her own chair.

"Mmmm," Summer murmers, taking a sip through the green bendy straw. "Perfect."

Marissa smiles and takes her own sip, settling back into the chair. She remembers all of the days they used to do this-lay beside the pool and drink iced tea-in high school. Two memories instantly stick out at her; the summer after Ryan and Seth left when she would spike it with vodka-and lots of it, and then the summer after she shot Trey. To this day his name still makes her shudder.

"Alright Coop, what's the deal?" Summer asks, glancing at her best friend out of the corner of her eye. She knew that something was up the minute she picked her up at Ryan's.

"About what?"

"You tell me."

"It's not a big deal," the blond shrugs indifferently. "Ryan and I slept together."

"And...?"

"And, I mean, before last night we hadn't been together in like 10 years-"

"What?!" Summer screams, sitting up quickly in a sitting position.

"What?" Marissa ask, confused.

"Last night? I thought...wow that's so not what I thought," Summer muses.

"I know," the blond whispers. "It was...amazing Sum. It was absolutely mind-blowing. And it's been 10 years! I mean is that even possible?"

"Obviously! Coop c'mon," Summer says reasonably.

"I know," Marissa laughs.

"Was Lily around?"

"No, she stayed at Kirsten and Sandy's, thank God. Last time was awkward enough."

"Come again?"

"Oh right I didn't tell you yet!" Marissa remembers. "You know how I've been staying over?" When Summer nods, the blond continues. "Well she caught me one morning-"

"No way!"

"Yep. It was so awkward. I haven't even seen her since."

"Oh my God!" Summer laughs. "That's so funny!"

"It was humiliating Sum!"

"Exactly. Hilarious."

Rolling her eyes playfully, Marisa takes another refreshing sip of her iced tea.

"So what happens now?"

"I dunno," the blond replies truthfully. "We wanted to keep it from Lily for as long as possible 'cause of everything with Theresa you know? We didn't want her to think-"

"Are you kidding Coop?" Summer asks, looking at her seriously. "That girl is awesome. She's the one who wanted you together, remember?"

"I know, it's just...we didn't want it to be weird..."

"Well it is a little weird."

"It's a lot weird."

* * *

Shortly after calling Lily to tell her that he'll be there to pick her up in about an hour, Ryan pulls into the Robert's driveway to get Marissa. He places the car in park and climbs out quickly. He starts up the stairs just as Julie walks out the front door in a rush.

"Hey Ryan!"

"Hey Julie," Ryan greets, waving at her carefully.

"Marissa's in the living room," Julies says, patting him on the shoulder on her way by.

He smiles, walking through the open front door. Closing the door behind him, he continues through the house into the living room where his girlfriend is lying on the couch on her side. "Hey."

Marissa sits up, looking behind her at the source of the familiar voice. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

He grins, plopping onto the couch next to her, resting his arm on the back. "I'm picking Lily up in about an hour and I was thinking that we could get her together. Maybe get a little Thai?"

"You know that Thai is not a food group right?" she teases, climbing onto his lap.

"It should be," he jokes, wrapping his arms around her waist. He brings their lips together slowly and passionately. Shifting carefully, he pushes her onto her back before climbing between her legs and hovering over her.

She giggles as his lips find her neck, leaving a slow, tempting trail across her collar bones. "Is it just me, or is this all very high school?"

"Very high school," he confirms, murmuring into her neck.

She runs her fingers through his hair, tugging softly to his lips back towards hers. The doorbell rings but they both ignore it. Less than five seconds later there's a loud, constant banging on the front door. Marissa groans, pushing Ryan back. "I have to get that."

"People have terrible timing," Ryan mumbles grumpily.

Marissa smiles and walks out into the hallway, the constant banging echoing throughout the entire house. "I'm coming!" she pulls open the door, her mouth dropping at the man in front of her. "Brad..."

"Where is he?!" the brunette ex-boyfriend yells, pushing past her into the foyer.

"Brad, what-"

"You," Brad growls, as Ryan joins the commotion in the front hall.

"Whoa, hey," Marissa says, jumping between the men quickly. "Stop it! What are you doing here?" she asks, looking at Brad incredulously.

"I came to find you, to bring you home."

"I am home."

"Uh, maybe I should go," Ryan says, looking between them awkwardly.

"No, Ryan-"

"Don't tell him to stay!"

"Don't tell her what to do," Ryan says protectively, standing in front of Marissa.

Marissa touches his shoulder softly. "Ryan it's okay. Maybe you should go."

He looks her, locking his gaze with hers to make absolutely sure. She nods and he kisses her cheek before walking past an angry 'Brad'.

"He's why you left, isn't he?" Brad accuses her the second the front door closes.

"I left because I had to Brad! I wanted to come home-"

"So it's just a coincidence that you hook up with him barely a week later right?"

Marissa sighs, sitting on the staircase. She doesn't know how he knows; but she's pretty sure that Claire must've let it slip. Claire isn't exactly one for secrets. "We broke up Brad. And Ryan...we have history together."

"So I've heard."

"I'm sorry. I'm not going back with you."

* * *

Ryan sits down on the couch in the living room. He grabs the remote off of the coffee table and turns the local sports channel on. Lily and Chase have since gone to the pier after the two of them had dinner-without Marissa. Sandy and Kirsten are having dinner with Julie and Niel now that they're back from Cabo. Summer and Seth are with the boys. And he hasn't even heard from Marissa since he left her alone with 'Brad'.

He doesn't know who this guy is, nor does he want to; but it's pretty obvious from their conversation that he's an ex-boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend? Why was he never told about the guy? 'Brad' was clearly told about him.

His mind has been racing for hours with possibilities of what could've happened; what might still be happening. Brad was clearly angry. And Marissa didn't seem very anxious to get rid of him. He tells himself he's being paranoid.

The doorbell rings throughout the house and he groans, pushing himself to his feet. He shuffles towards the front door in his sweat pants, wife beater and bare feet. He can see the fuzzy outline of Marissa's tall, slender frame waiting for him. Sighing softly, he pulls the door open.

"Hey," Marissa whispers, waving awkwardly at him.

"Hey." He steps aside, letting her in before closing the door behind her.

"So I owe you an explanation," she says softly, turning to face him in the foyer.

"Yeah I guess," he mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. It's more for preparation than anything else.

"He's my ex-"

"Yeah I got that."

Nodding, the blond continues. "From New York. I broke up with him before I left but-"

"He wants you back," he guesses, smiling sarcastically at her. It's the story of their lives.

"Yeah but-"

"Look Marissa...this just isn't gonna work," he whispers hesitantly.

"What? Ryan-"

"I can't do this Marissa!" he yells, opening his arms. She jumps slightly at his outburst in shock. "I can't keep fighting for a spot in your life all the time," he says calmly. "And I can't drag Lily through this."

Marissa looks down, tears glistening in her eyes. She doesn't know what to do or say to that. Because what do you say to that?

Ryan breaths out steadily. "You should go."

Nodding quickly, she crosses her arms over her chest protectively. She avoids his gaze, rushing past him and out the door.

Ryan watches her go tearfully and groans loudly. He walks back to the family room and sits on the couch, staring but not watching the game. He thinks back to the last time he watched her leave like that. It was because of Oliver and the fact that it was so damn easy for him to weasel his way into their relationship. And then it was DJ and Johnny. It's _always_ about a guy. Somebody _always_ falls in love with her. And he can't drag Lily into that. He can't go through it himself again either, but now that he has a daughter, he has to do what's best for her. She needs stability-now more than ever. And his relationship with Marissa has always been anything but stable.

"Dad?"

Ryan looks up quickly to see his daughter standing in the kitchen staring at him. "Hey Lil. How was your ice cream?"

"Good. I saw Marissa leaving, is everything okay?" she asks, worried. When her father doesn't answer, she knows that those tears trickling down the blonds cheeks weren't for nothing. Ryan looks away and she presses. "Dad-"

"Just drop it Lil," he says, his tone warning.

"But dad-"

"Drop it Lillian! It's over."

Lily shrinks back slowly at her dad's outburst. "I'm gonna go change." She doesn't wait for a response before leaving him alone and running upstairs. She pulls her new phone (the one her dad got her to make it easier for him to check up on her) out of her pocket. Once she's in her room she dials Chases' cell phone number and waits patiently for him to answer, lying back on her bed.

"Hey, didn't I just leave you?" Chase teases into the phone.

"Yeah, sorry."

"What's wrong?" he asks quickly, realizing through her tone that something is wrong.

"Um...I don't know. I saw Marissa leaving the house and she was crying and, but when I asked my dad he...yelled at me." She says, taking a deep calming breath. "Chase he never yells at me. I mean he does but never like that."

"You think something happened?"

"I know something happened."

"Just give him time Lil. He probably just needs to think about it; to calm down."

"Yeah," she whispers reasonably.

* * *

Marissa pushes the front door to the Roberts house open and slams it hard behind her before rushing upstairs. She makes it to her room in record timing and throws herself onto her bed. She grabs Sharebear and hugs her close to her chest. When all else fails; aka when she fights with Ryan, Sharebear fixes everything.

She isn't sure what's worse; the fact that not even 24 hours after having everything perfect for them, it turned upside down in a single second, or that yet again it was about another guy. She doesn't blame him, not really; especially where lily is concerned. But he didn't even give her a chance to explain.

Brad is nothing. Brad means nothing. Sure she cares for him, but not nearly enough. Brad was her escape after flying to New York; after Ryan, rather than drowning in alcohol like she always does. Brad was an excuse. Brad was lie she told herself for four and half years.

And now because of that lie, she may have just lost the love of her life forever.

_There it is! I know, I ruined things, but don't worry! They shall be fixed! I hope you enjoyed it. _


	8. Plotting

_Alright so here's the next chapter! There's a little bit of good and a little bit of bad in this. And as always there's lots of Ryan and Marissa. Enjoy please!_

**Plotting**

One week later, Lily Atwood throws her black leather jacket over her Gucci t-shirt and sticks her phone into the front pocket of her fashionably ripped jeans. She grabs her favourite old flip flops out of her closet and slips them onto her feet before walking out of her room.

Her Aunt Summer will be here soon to pick her up for their 'girl's night'. Marissa would've done it, except for the fact that her dad and his ex-girlfriend (again) still aren't talking. Lily has since given up on trying to get her dad to tell her what really happened that night; settling for his 'it just wasn't working' excuse. Although by no means does she believe him. Because he's still sort of distant. Because he still avoids Marissa and all subjects having to do with the leggy blond. Because he won't just tell her.

The young Atwood skips down the stairs, yelling out to her father who's in the family room with his blueprints. "Bye dad!"

"Where are you going? Come 'ere," he says, looking up at his daughter.

"Girls night, remember?" she reminds him, joining him in the room. "Me and Summer and grandma and Marissa. Sum's gonna be here soon."

"Marissa too?" Ryan asks, trying not to sound too interested. Because he is interested.

"Yep. Why?"

"Nothing," he says, shaking his head as he leans back against the couch.

"Dad, why don't you just talk to her?" Lily asks, sitting across from him. "You can't sort it out without talking."

"It doesn't work like that Lil," he sighs. Though it should.

"Then explain it to me."

Ryan sighs, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "We tried , twice before and it didn't work. This time is no different."

"Third time's a charm daddy."

"That was the third time."

"Please, dad. That doesn't count," Lily argues. "You have to try harder than that if you want it to have even the slightest chance to work. And I know you do."

"Why am I getting relationship advice from my 13 year old daughter?" he asks, laughing at the irony.

"'Cause I'm a girl and that automatically makes _me_ right, and _you_ wrong." She smiles playfully.

"Yeah yeah," he says sarcastically, reaching across the gap between them to ruffle her hair. "Get outta here."

"So you'll talk to her?" she asks, giggling as she pushes his arm away.

"We'll see," he says leaning back into the chair.

"Why 'we'll see'?"

"Cause she may not even want to talk to me."

"I'll talk to her."

"Lily-"

"Girls night dad," she reminds him. "We gossip, we talk. It's what we do."

Ryan rolls his eyes, pushing himself to his feet. "You're too smart for your own good, you know that?"

"Has to come from being your daughter," she grins, jumping off the couch. As if on cue, the doorbell rings and Aunt Summer walks in. "Hey! Bye dad, I love you!" she yells, walking out the door.

"Love you kid!"

"Bye dad!" Summer laughs, following Lily to her car.

* * *

Later that evening, after watching The Notebook and gossiping and doing pure girl stuff, Lily finds Marissa loading the dishwasher while summer is on the phone with her boys and Kirsten is upstairs getting some things ready for later. "Hey," she says, walking into the kitchen. "Want some help?"

"Sure," Marissa smiles softly as Lily steps in beside her, wiping the plates clean before handing them to Marissa. She laughs softly. "You're so much like your dad, you know that? Washing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher drove Sandy crazy."

"I take pride in that," Lily grins, laughing softly.

"You should."

Lily continues to wipe the dishes, handing them over when she's done. "Speaking of my dad...what happened between you guys? I mean, I thought all was great."

Marissa sighs softly, placing the last dish in the dishwasher before closing and starting it. She hasn't talked to anybody about it since it happened, mainly because she knew Ryan wasn't either. "All was great. And then my ass of an ex-boyfriend decided to show up and-"

"My dad got jealous," Lily finishes , putting two and two together.

"I'm sorry, I should be dumping this on you," Marissa apologizes quickly, not telling her that it's more than just her dad being jealous.

"No, please, dump all you want. Nobody else is taking." Marissa nods, looking away from her and she bites her lip. "He wants to see you. To talk."

"Communication isn't exactly our strong suit-"

"So fix it. Talk to him."

"Lily it's complicated."

"So uncomplicate it."

Marissa hesitates. It sounds simple coming from her. It sounded just as simple coming from her sister ten years ago after the whole Johnny fiasco. But that's it; that's where the simplicity ends. There are so many underlying issues in their relationship that she isn't sure communication is enough...

Later that night on the way home with Summer, Lil comes up with an idea that may just work in getting Ryan and Marissa to at least talk. "Aunt Summer," she says turning to the petit brunette in the driver's seat. "I need your help."

"Shoot Lils," Summer replies immediately, keeping her eyes on the road in the process.

"I need to get dad and Marissa to talk about their issues."

"Ha! Good luck with that," Summer laughs.

"That's why I need your help Aunt Sum! They're either too stubborn or too scared to do it on their own."

"And you want to trick them into seeing each other," Summer guess, having done her own fair share of meddling.

"Exactly!" Lily exclaims, bouncing in her seat.

"I dunno Lily," Summer whispers hesitantly. "I learned a long time ago not to mess with the mess that is Ryan and Marissa."

"Please Aunt Sum," he young brunette begs. "You know more than anyone that they love each other. I just want my dad to be happy; for both of them to be happy."

"Fine," Summer groans. She can't deny that Ryan and Marissa are a mess. A beautiful mess. But she also can't deny that they love each other- more than they've ever loved anybody. They belong together. "Here's what we're gonna do..." she smiles, passing Lily's drop off to go around the block once more while she explains the plan.

* * *

The next day after lunch, Lily skips down the stairs and out to the backyard where her dad is cleaning the pool. The plan is in motion. All she has to do is drag her dad to the pier while Summer does the same with Marissa. Once at the pier, she and Summer will 'accidentally' run into each other and leave the two love birds to talk and let magic happen.

"Dad we need ice cream," Lily announce, bouncing out onto the patio.

"There's ten dollars in my wallet," Ryan says, moving the net around the water to catch the floating debris.

"But I need you to come with me."

"Why?" he laughs, looking at her strangely.

"Because there' like a million different flavours and I'm no good with making decisions," she says, having already planned and practiced her excuse.

"Since when?" Ryan asks curiously, putting the net away.

"Since like, now. C'mon," she says grabbing his hand and pulling him back into the house. "Where's your wallet?"

"I'll take my wallet thank you," he says laughing softly as he grabs it along with his keys off the kitchen counter.

"Hey, can I drive?"

"Not till you're 30."

"Why's the answer always 30?!"

Meanwhile Summer lets herself into her father and Julie's house, in search of her bestfriend. "Coop?!" she calls out, her voice echoing in the otherwise empty house.

"Kitchen!"

Summer follows the voice into the kitchen to see Marissa's talk, slender frame digging in the fridge. "Coop! Fashion emergency, now!"

"Hey to you too Sum," Marissa replies pulling out a bottle of water and closing the fridge door.

"Seriously Coop, we need to go shopping like pronto."

"Now?"

"Now."

"Why?"

"Since when do I need a reason?" Summer asks quickly, not missing a beat.

"Good point. South Coast?"

"The pier."

"The pier? Like those thrift stores?"

"Uh-huh. Thrift is in these days. C'mon Coop."

A little while later, Summer and Marissa are walking down the pier and coincidentally they haven't gone into a single store. The blond is beginning to wonder what they're really doing here when she sees Lily and Ryan walk out of the ice cream parlour, both holding a cup of their favourite flavour. Her stomach drops when she sees him and she slaps Summer in the arm with the back of her hand. "Summer!"

"What?" the brunette asks innocently, unfazed by her best friend's reaction.

"Seriously Sum? Seriously?"

Summer grins, shrugging her shoulders. "Oh my God you guys! Hey!" she squeals, faking surprise as she hugs her knowing niece.

"Oh hey Aunt Sum! What a surprise. Right daddy?" Lily glances over at her dad who's looking at her sternly. She smiles in response.

"Yeah. Sure."

"Well you guys have tons to talk about so-"

"We'll let you talk! Okay? Bye," Summer finishes, pulling lily away and into the nearest boutique.

Ryan and Marissa look at each other awkwardly. Marissa smiles shyly, playing nervously with her fingers. "Wow. They are so not subtle."

"Yeah," Ryan agrees, tossing his cup into a nearby garbage can. "Remind me to ban my daughter from plotting with Summer."

"Only if you remind me to ban Summer from plotting with...well, everyone."

Ryan laughs, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Deal."

"Okay." She laughs.

Silence falls between them and they stand awkwardly across from each other. "Wanna talk a walk?" Ryan asks finally, his voice quiet.

"Sure," she smiles. She follows his lead. They start walking down the pier slowly. It's silent again as they both look around at their surroundings awkwardly. She sticks her fingers into the back pockets of her jeans. "So Lily seems deadest on us," she says, the words coming out before she can stop them. she curses herself silently for voicing her thoughts.

"Yeah well, when she puts her mind to something it's impossible to tell her otherwise," he says, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. "It's quite painful actually."

Marissa laughs softly but it falters quickly. She stops walking and grabs the sleeve of his shirt, tugging on it to make him stop. He looks at her and her breath catches in her throat for a minute before she composes herself. "Look, Ryan, I should've told you about Brad. The only reason I didn't tell was because-"

"You didn't think I deserved to know."

"What? No..."

"Then why, Marissa? Because it wouldn't be the first time." The words pour out of his mouth and he isn't sure why he's being so mean to her. They're supposed to talk, he shouldn't be accusing her of things.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"DJ. Johnny. Volchok..."

"And Trey right?" she asks, crossing her arms over her chest. "He was your last stab right?" she stares at him and he looks down. "I don't have to explain myself to you again."

"Then don't," he mumbles. "You're good at that."

"What has gotten into you?!"

"You tell me," he says, placing his hands on his hips. He glares at her, his anger (from where he doesn't know) taking over.

"I told you about DJ!" she yells at him. "I told you about Johnny! I didn't tell you about Trey because I know how you would react! And Volchok? Really Ryan? You broke up with me so don't you dare put that on me!" she stares at him and he looks down uncomfortably. "this isn't about them at all is it? It's about the fact that you still don't trust me. You never have." Tears shine in her eyes and he still doesn't respond; doesn't even look at her. "You know what, you're right. This isn't gonna work."

"No. It's not," he says sternly. He looks down, unable to take her tearful, glimmering eyes. He nods to himself and lets his arms fall to his sides before walking past her silently in the direction of the boutique his daughter and her aunt disappeared into. Summer and Lily both walk out on queue. "C'mon Lily."

"Dad?"

"We're going home." He doesn't wait for her to join him, instead he walks past her, knowing that eventually she will follow.

Lily smiles sadly at her aunt before running after her father, slipping her hand into his.

Summer sighs, looking behind her and her bestfriend, who still hasn't moved from her spot. The blonde's head is hanging sadly, her arms wrapped around herself protectively. "Coop?" she asks softly, jogging over to her. She steps in front of her and lifts her face, looking right into her tear-filled eyes and wet cheeks. "Oh sweetie," she whispers, hugging her tightly. "I'm so sorry."

Marissa hugs her back weakly, resting her forehead on Summer's shoulder. She sniffs back tears as her shoulder shake from crying.

"We really thought it was gonna work this time."

"Me too..."

"I promise Coop. No more plots."

* * *

A little while later, Lily finds her father sitting on the lawn chair in the backyard, his back to her. The sun is setting but she knows that he's not paying attention. He's been quiet and distant since the pier this afternoon. She had seen them arguing but she hadn't heard what was being said. And although she wants more than anything to ask him what it was about, she knows that now isn't the time. "Dad?" she calls softly to him, walking onto the patio.

Ryan becomes aware of his surroundings for the first time in he doesn't know how long when he hears his name. "Yeah?"

She sits next to her dad and slips her hand into his. "Are you okay?"

He sighs softly, nodding his head slowly. "Yeah."

"I don't believe you," she whispers.

"Yeah I know," he says, chuckling softly for the first time in hours.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Nah, Lil. It's fine." He glances sideways at her and she smiles weakly. "Too much history. Too many issues."

"Not enough communication."

"Yeah."

A comfortable silence falls between them and Lily rests her head on her dad's shoulder. Ryan looks down at her. "No more plots okay bud? No more games..."

"Okay."

"I mean it-"

"Me too." She looks at him while he looks down at his hands. "You and I are good, right dad?"

"We're fine Lil."

The young Atwood smiles softly and leans into her father. He responds by resting his head on hers carefully. And she knows that no matter what, she and her father-her protector-will always be okay. Even if everything else in their lives is not.

* * *

The next day Ryan makes up and makes him and Lil breakfast before going for a run-both to exercise and to (unsuccessfully) clear his head. He runs along the beach, towards the lifeguard hut and back. He finds that running through sand makes for a better work out because it's so uneven and he has to push himself harder. It makes feel more pain afterwards, but it's also worth it.

He still doesn't know why they keep arguing. Nor does he even understand why he's so angry at her. It's not like it's never happened before; he should know how to handle it by now. Then again maybe that's why. It's like history just keeps repeating itself. Secrets. Guys. Drama. But still, it doesn't make sense to him. Had 'Brad' never shown up, he would've never known; it would've never made a difference. But he did show up, and it did make a difference.

When he gets home later, he finds one missed call on his phone so he checks to see who it was. Seth. Shaking his head, but smiling to himself, he calls him back, holding the phone to his ear as he pulls a bottle of water out of the fridge in the kitchen.

"Hey man."

"Hey, what's up?" Ryan asks, leaning back against the counter.

"Nothing. What's going on man? What's happening?"

Ryan groans inwardly, knowing exactly what he's really talking about. "Nothin' man."

"Uh-huh, so the fact that Summer said you and Marissa had a huge blow out at the pier yesterday is nothing?"

"It wasn't huge," Ryan protests.

"Well whatever dude," Seth responds indifferently. "_What_ is going on with you guys?"

"I don't know Seth!" the blond yells out of frustration. "I dunno. We just...we can't work it out. We can't talk. We can't...maybe it's just been too long you know?"

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"What? Who talks like that?"

"I do."

Ryan sighs, moving into the living room and falling onto the chair. It has nothing with to do with 'absence', that much he knows.

"Look, Ryan, communication has never been your guys' thing. Take Oliver for example. And DJ and Trey-"

"I get it," the blond interrupts, not wanting to go through the list again.

"Okay. Good."

"What's your point?"

"My point is that you guys survived that-"

"Survived it Seth? We broke up," Ryan reminds him.

"True, but you fixed it. You fixed it after Oliver and Theresa and Trey. Even after Johnny," Seth tells him. "It was fear that really ruined you."

"Fear."

"Yes, fear. Fear, and the fact that you needed to feel different."

"Dad?" Lily calls, jogging down the stairs.

"Yeah bud?" Ryan calls back, moving the phone from his ear.

"Dad, Chase and I are gonna hang out at the beach. Okay?"

"Sure. Be home for dinner."

"Kay bye dad!" she yells, blowing him a kiss from the hallway.

"Bye bud, be careful!"

"You're actually letting her go out with Chase?" Seth asks, his tone full of surprise.

"Seth shut up. I have to go." He hangs up, not waiting for a response and tosses the phone onto the table with a thud. He can't do this right now.

* * *

Lily stands at the bottom of the Robert's front staircase, staring nervously up at the house. She isn't sure this is a good idea anymore. She pulls out her phone and dials Chase's number quickly.

"Hey," Chase says, picking up on the second ring.

"Chase I don't think this is a good idea."

"What? Why? It was _your_ idea."

"I know," she sighs, turning her body to lean back on the wall. "It's just...I've done nothing but meddle and plot and trick her-them-since I got here."

"You were just trying to help," he reminds her softly.

"And I made everything worse. I made more damage than I helped," she murmers.

"Lil-"

"Chase it didn't work! They aren't together. Maybe they don't want to be."

"C'mon you know that's not true," he reasons. "Two people don't go through hell and back that many times if they don't want to be together." When Lily doesn't respond he continues encouragingly. "Look it's not like you're there on a mission right?"

"I know."

"So then don't worry about it. What do you have to lose?"

"You're right," Lily says confidently.

"You're welcome."

"Thanks," she laughs, walking up the stairs bravely. "I'll call you later." She hangs up quickly and rings the doorbell. She sees Marissa's slim figure behind the glass.

"Lily," Marissa says softly, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Hi Marissa," Lily says, smiling shyly.

"Hi. Um, come in."

"Thanks." Lily follows the tall blond into the living room. "So, uh, how are you?"

"I'm fine. I'm good-I'm...good."

"You don't sound very sure of yourself..."

"Yeah...I'm good. How's your dad?" the blond asks, changing the subject

"I dunno," Lily sighs. "Nobody really knows. I don't think he even knows." She pauses, looking down as she sits on the couch across from her. "I'm sorry, about everything. I was just trying to help."

"I know, it's okay."

"And I know you and my dad aren't together, but can we still be friends?"

"Aww of course sweetie," Marissa softly. She smiles at the young Atwood in front of her.

"Cool," Lily smiles back.

The doorbell rings through the house again and Marissa laughs. "Sometimes it gets really busy around here." She pushes herself to her feet and taps Lily's shoulder softly before going to answer the door. She pulls it open and her stomach drops painfully. "Ryan... uh-"

"Is she here?" he mumbles angrily, his hands on his hips.

"Yes, but-"

Ryan moves pas her and through the foyer. "Lily! Lillian!"

"Hey dad..." Lily whispers waving awkwardly.

"What did I tell you huh?"

"Dad-"

"No more plots-"

"Ryan she isn't-"

"No more games Lillian!" he yells at her from the doorway. He crosses his arms over his chest angrily, breathing heavily.

"I didn't do anything dad!" Lily screams, pushing herself to her feet. "I'm not doing anything!"

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Talking! We're talking dad. That's it."

Marissa watches helplessly from behind Ryan as Lil-small, innocent Lily Atwood-sends him a glare identical to her fathers. "You know, maybe you guys should talk..."

"I'm not the only one he needs to talk to," Lily argues.

"Lily..."

Silence falls between all of them and Marissa rubs her arms uncomfortably. Father and daughter continue to glare at each other before Ryan finally gives in, looking down at the floor. "C'mon, let's go."

Rolling her eyes, the young Atwood walks past her father, shrugging him off when he tries to touch her arm. "Bye Marissa."

"Bye Lily."

Ryan nods silently to himself and follows his daughter, avoiding eye contact with Marissa at all costs. When he gets outside, Lily is already sitting with her arms crossed in the passenger seat he closes the door behind him and sighs, walking down the stairs. He climbs in beside her and starts the car before putting on his seatbelt. She stays completely silent, staring out the window as he pulls out of the driveway. Fighting with his daughter was definately not in his plans for today. But then he'd seen Chase at the store with his other friends and although he asked, he didn't have to to know where she's gone. He looks at her out of the corner of his eye and sighs before turning back to the road. "Lil..." he says softly, apologetically. She doesn't respond and he feels worse than before. "Bud I'm sorry."

"Why do you do that?!" she asks loudly, turning quickly to face him. "Why do you jump to conclusions and blow things out of proportion?!"

Taken aback slightly, though he isn't sure why, Ryan stumbles over his words to find an answer. "I uh...I dunno."

Lily shakes her head and looks back out the window. "Marissa isn't mom, Dad."

He looks at her in confusion. "I know tha-"

"I don't think you do. I get it, you're scared-"

"I'm not scared," he denies quickly. Too quickly.

"See this is your problem!" she yells, facing him again. "It has less to do with her O your trust issues and more to do with fear but you're too stubborn to admit it. Pull over," she demands.

"Why"

"Because I need your full attention."

Ryan does as he's told and pulls the car over to the side of the road. He faces her, silently telling her he's all ears.

"You're scared to let her in again. You're scared to get close after everything you've been through," she says, staring at him. He starts to soften quickly. "And I get it dad, burned once; burned forever. But it's too late. Anyone can see that you're in love with her-you've always been in love with her." She pauses and he looks down, leaning vulnerably into his seat. "And...you're scared that she's gonna leave. Just like mom. Only if _she_ leaves, you might not make it." He looks at her, as if realizing that she's been thinking the same thing. Because if another person leaves, it could be the end of the both of them. "But she won't dad. I've heard the stories...she lets you go when she had to. And she'd take you back a million times over 'cause she's just as in love with you."

Ryan continues to stare at her, and it's like she's looking at his bare soul. It's the way Marissa used to see him-bare and vulnerable and completely. Marissa knew him better than anyone; she knew things that he hadn't even told Seth and Sandy and Kirsten. Not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't. Marissa was the only person that knew all of him; that saw every side of him; that had every single piece of him. Marissa always was and always will be the only person with enough power; with enough of him to destroy him.

Realization dawns on him. Everything Seth had said was right. Everything Lily had just said was right. It wasn't about Brad. It was about _fear_. Complete and total far. It's always been bout fear. He attacked Luke that day at practice out of fear that she'd choose him again. He was scared of heights, but it was the fear of not getting on that ferris wheel that made him get on. It was the fear of yet another obstacle that kept him from picking up where they left off after Oliver. It was the fear of getting hurt that turned him to Theresa. It was the fear of never being with her again that made him try all over again. And after Chino and DJ and Lindsey and Alex, it was the fear of being apart that brought them together. And after Trey he had been afraid of everything. Afraid of separate schools and stupid school dances and new friends. In the end, Seth is absolutely right-it was fear that made him call her that night. Thing's hadn't been right with them for a whole and after Johnny died he realized that he was even more afraid of losing her then than he had been before. He was tired of being afraid all the time. It was the fear of never moving on that made him determined to do so.

"And you're scared for me," Lily continues softly. "Because of mom. But I'm not scared. And you shouldn't be either. I like Marissa."

"Clearly," he laughs softly.

"I just want you to be happy dad. And you're happy with her." She reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out a small change wallet. She then pulls a small piece of paper out of it and hands it to her father. "I want you to be _this_ happy again."

Ryan looks at it, smiling softly at the old photo-a ten year old photo he'd kept in his nightstand before packing for the move and never taking back out. It was of the two of them at the lifeguard hut; the day the four of them had gone to the beach after the Trey fiasco. Ryan and Marissa had snuck away for alone time. Seth and Summer had snuck up on them and took the picture. They're happy. They're staring lovingly at each other. He hadn't been afraid that day.

"Dad?"

"I want to be that happy too," he whispers, and all of a sudden her arms are around his neck. "What do you think of plotting one more time for your old man huh?" he asks, grinning widely.

Lily pulls away, smiling back. "You're hardly old dad. But yes, what's the plan?"

* * *

Marissa walks slowly up the ramp to the lifeguard hut. She looks around her briefly, finding the beach empty. Lily had called her half an hour ago asking her to meet there. At first she'd been sceptical because of what happened few hours earlier with Ryan. But Lily sounded totally determined so she agreed.

She pulls her phone out of her favourite Chanel bad and dials Lily's number. It goes to voicemail quite quickly. "Hey Lily, it's um...it's me. I'm at the tower so I guess...I'll see you soon." She hands up, leaning her body against the large wooden wall. Hearing footsteps, she looks up and her stomach clenches nervously as Ryan walks up the ramp slowly, looking sheepishly at her. Her heart tugs at her and she looks at him.

"She's not coming," he whispers, his fingers playing nervously with the rail.

"What?" She stares at him confused. Her voice is quiet and nervous.

He looks down for a brief moment before looking back up as he leans against the rail, directly across from her. "I asked her to call you for me..."

"I...I have to go," she whispers with a shaky voice. She moves to walk past him but his hand grabs hers quickly, sending shivers throughout her entire body.

"Wait," he whispers urgently, tugging her back their bodies are millimetres apart and he swallows the nervous lump in his throat. She looks at him. "Just hear me out. Please. And if you still don't want to see me then I'll go."

She nods quietly and he lets go of her hand. She settles back against the wall before sliding down to sit on the floor, her legs bent in front of her.

He follows her lead quickly, sitting next to her. They both look at each other shyly and he smiles sheepishly, before looking down. "I uh...I know I haven't been the easiest person to be around lately or to talk to." He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "But you need to know it's got nothing to do with you-I mean it does but...not like that. It's not about Brad or anything else," he says softly, looking sideways at her. "I was just...afraid. I was afraid of loving someone-other than Lily-beyond comprehension; of losing someone I couldn't afford to lose."

"Ryan." She whispers tearfully. She reaches out and rubs his arm affectionately, softening instantly and his vulnerability.

He smiles weakly at her before resting his chin on his folded arms over his legs. "When Brad came it was like...a blast from the past you know? It was like Oliver and Johnny and...I didn't want to stay if there was a chance that I could lose you. I can't lose you again."

"You won't," she whispers, shifting closer to him. Seeing him like this, so vulnerable and open breaks her heart.

"I didn't push you away to hurt you, I did it to protect me. Just like I always have," he admits softly, staring at her intently. "Just like with Oliver and DJ and Johnny. I was afraid of losing you so I took myself out of the situation instead."

She smiles weakly as a tear slips down her cheek. She places her hand on his cheek softly, pulling him to face her. She rests her forehead against his. "It's okay," she whispers, pressing her lips into his softly but firmly.

Ryan kisses back, holding onto it. He grabs the back of her head, burying his hand into her hair. "It's not okay."

"It's okay." She repeats, ignoring him.

He pulls back, resting his head on the wall. "Can we put this behind us?"

She nods, smiling softly. "Of course."

He smiles, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her into him. "I wanna make this work."

"No matter what," she whispers. She giggles softly when he pulls her face to him, kissing her. "So, is Lily okay?"

He laughs, pulling away. "She's fine. She knows her dad more than he likes to admit."

"I kind of knew that," she giggles again.

Ryan stares at her lovingly and she smiles at him, the colour rising in her cheeks. He loves it when she gets shy and embarrassed. He smiles back, pulling her tight against him and she rests her head on his shoulder. "I love you."

She smiles, looking up and placing a soft kiss on his chin. "I love you too."

_There we go! Ryan and Marissa are back together! I hope you liked it. I wanted Marissa to stand up for herself, rather than fall to him; and I wanted Ryan to realize on his own (with a little bit of help) that he was being a jerk and why. The next chapter should be up soon! Thank you._


	9. 9 First Days and Minored Dates

_Hey guys! Sorry for the wait! It took awhile but it's finally finished. There isn't a WHOLE lot of fluff, because I'm easing into the story a little bit more, but don't worry! In time there will be lots more fluff!  
_

**First Days and Minored Dates  
**

A few weeks have passed since Ryan and Lily plotted together to get Ryan and Marissa back together. For the last few weeks, since they were 'starting over', the couple agreed that they should stick to taking things slow. So instead of staying over night after night like she was doing before, she'd only stay over once a week on the weekend. She'd stay for dinner and sometimes Ryan and Lily would go over to Marissa's to have breakfast before Ryan left for work.

This morning however, is the first day of school for students all over the state. What's worse (for Ryan anyway) is that Lily, although she's only 13, is starting high school. At Harbour. She's always been a smart kid-just like her father- so smart that she'd skipped the fourth grade.

Ryan is making breakfast when he receives a text from Marissa saying she'll be there soon. He drops another egg covered slice of bread into the frying pan on the stove.

"Mmmm, smells good," Lily gushes, waking into the kitchen in her pyjama's.

"Yeah, you like it?"

"Mhmm," she smiles, climbing into the chair at the center island. "I love French toast. Where's Marissa?"

"She's coming, she's on her way," he says, smiling softly with his back to her. He places on slice of French toast onto a plate along with raspberries and sliced strawberries that he'd prepared earlier.

"Good. I need her fashion advice."

"So are you excited?" he asks, placing the plate in front of her.

"And nervous," she admits.

"Don't be," he laughs, ruffling her hair playfully. "You'll be fine. You're your father's daughter."

Lily smiles, popping a raspberry into her mouth. Her smile widens when she hears the front door open.

"Mmm, smells good," Marissa announces, walking into the kitchen.

"That's what I said," Lily giggles.

"Hey," Ryan says softly, wrapping his left arm around her waist and pressing a kiss into her cheek.

Marissa smiles, reaching for a strawberry and popping it into her mouth. "So, are you nervous?" she asks, turning to face the young Atwood sitting at the table.

"Among other things," she shrugs, eating her toast.

"You'll be fine," the blond assureds her, taking the plate of food Ryan offers her. "Thanks. You're your fathers daughters."

"That's what I said," Ryan smirks.

"You're gonna help me pick out an outfit right? I have no idea what to wear." Lily looks at her father's girlfriend hopefully.

"Of course!"

Ryan grins, shaking his head as his girlfriend sits beside his daughter, both of them-slim girls-stuffing their faces. He leans against the counter, his plate in his hands in front of him, watching as they interact easily.

* * *

Ryan pulls the car into the Harbour school parking lot and for a minute he feels 17 again. He looks up at the building that holds so many of his high school memories before looking at his daughter as she climbs out of the car. Ryan follows suite, while Marissa climbs out of her own car.

Lil stares at the huge building before her in awe. She was here last week, with her dad and Kirsten for registration, but it still takes her breath away. Not even twenty minutes ago she and Marissa had settled on a pair of skinny jeans, black flats, a white v-neck t-shirt from Chanel and of course her leather jacket. It's just enough casual, cute and fashion for her first day. "I can't believe this is school."

"I know," Ryan says. He remembers thinking the exact thing on his first day.

"It's like...a fortress."

"Fortress? Yeah, you're hanging out with Seth too much."

Marissa laughs, standing beside Ryan. "It's not that bad. Tell her," she says, swatting his arm.

"It's not that bad," Ryan obeys honestly. "You get used to it."

"Are you sure I can't just go to public school?" she asks, looking at her dad with wide eyes. "I mean Newport Union isn't that bad right?"

"Bud, you'll be fine," he assures her, pulling her into his side and placing a kiss on he top of her head.

"You may even like it," Marissa smiles, rubbing her arms.

"You ready?" Ryan asks, pulling her in front of him and holding her face in his hands. "The bell's gonna ring soon."

"I'm ready," Lily says, smiling confidently. She hugs him tightly, closing her eyes. "Bye dad."

"I love you. Call me if you need anything." He pulls back and kisses her forehead.

"I will. Bye," she says moving to hug Marissa.

Ryan crosses his arms over his chest as he watches his daughter walk away, disappearing into the sea of students. He nods his head to himself. "She's gonna be okay right? She's gonna be fine?"

Marissa laughs softly, stepping in front of him. "She slides her arms around his waist. "It's just high school."

"Exactly," he points out, wrapping his own around her.

"She's gonna be fine."

"She's thirteen," he argues. "I was supposed to have one more year to prepare her for high school. She's too damn smart for her own good."

"One more year for her? Or for you?"

Ryan sighs. "Both, I guess."

Marissa smiles at him and pushes her lips into his firmly. "C'mon," she murmers between kisses. "You have to go to work."

"See you at lunch?"

"Mhmmm."

Meanwhile inside the school, Lily stands in the middle of the crowded halls with a map in on hand and her bag in the other. All she wants to do is get to the lockers, but every time she tries, somebody gets in the way. A hand wraps around her elbow suddenly, pulling her through the crowd and against the lockers.

"Hey!" Chase grins, falling back into the soft-ish metal lockers beside her.

"Chase! Oh thank God," she says, breathing a sigh of relief.

"You look a little lost."

"A little bit, yeah," she laughs.

"You know I could always help you," he offers, tilting his head to the side. "I know this place like the back of my hand."

"Only 'cause you're a trouble maker," she teases.

"Well of course," he grins. "C'mon, I'll walk you to your first class."

Lily smiles softly and grabs his arm, following him through the hallway.

* * *

Later that day during lunch hour, Lil manages to find her way to and through the lunch line in the cafeteria before finding a table outside in the courtyard. She sits down in the black iron chair, setting her tray on the glass table top.

"Lily, hey," Chase says, walking up to her table.

"Hey," she smiles.

"Mind if we join you?" he asks her, gesturing to his friends, two tall and muscular guys his age-fourteen.

"Sure, of course."

Chase grins, sitting beside her. "So this is Matt and Derek."

"Hey," the two say politely.

"Hi," she whispers shyly.

"And here comes Cassie and her posy," Matt mumbles, groaning softly.

Lily looks behind her to see three girls-about her height-walking towards them. she knows who Cassie is by Matt's kind description. She's walking slightly in front of her friend like she owns the place.

"Hey you guys! Who's the new girl?" Cassie asks, twirling her long blond hair around her finger.

"Lily this is Cassie and her friends Sarah and Lexi. Girls this is Lily Atwood," Chase says introducing all four girls politely.

"Atwood? Wow..." Cassie says softly, almost sheepishly impressed.

"Can we join you?" Lexi asks, throwing her brown hair into a sloppy ponytail.

"Well I dunno," Derek starts, speaking up for the first time since greeting Lily. He stops short when the girls join anyway.

"So are you guys going to the carnival tomorrow night?" Cassie asks, sitting across from Chase.

"Carnival?" Lily asks.

"Yeah, the one I told you about," Chase reminds her. "With the famous ferris wheel." She smiles in response and she smiles back.

"Yeah we put it on every year."

"It's alotta fun," Matt grins, looking at the new girl. "No parents, no teachers. Just awesomeness; pure and simple."

"Yeah, okay," Sarah laughs at him.

"You should come," Chase says, still staring at Lily next to him.

"Okay," she whispers.

"Hey Matty!" a guy yells, running towards the table. "C'mon guys!" He throws a football at Chase, making Cassie, Sarah and Lexi glare and Lily laugh. Chase, Matt and Derek jump up from the table and take off, leaving the girls alone.

"So," Cassie starts, looking at Lily. "You're Lily Atwood. You're like the shiny new toy."

"Excuse me?" Lily asks, slightly taken aback. She's never been called a toy before. Or shiny.

Lexi rolls her eyes. "What she means is that you're the new girl, so _everyone_ is interested."

"But don't worry. They'll lose interest eventually."

Lily nods at her sarcastically. "Thanks."

Meanwhile across town, in the Newport Group building, Marissa walks Ryan back to his office after having lunch at the pier. She has to collect her things before meeting with her mother. Ryan walks into the office after his girlfriend and over to his desk where he falls into his chair.

Marissa grabs her purse and her jacket, facing Ryan. "It's driving you crazy isn't it?" He looks up at her and she smiles softly. "Not calling her to check in," she elaborates.

"Nah. No I'm fine," he says, leaning back into the chair. She leans against his desk, looking at him expectantly. He sighs. "Okay yeah, a little bit. But I'm not, that's the important part."

"Three and half hours and she's all yours," she reminds him.

He laughs. "Yeah."

She smiles, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. "I gotta go. I'll see you later."

"Yeah," he says smiling, watching as she walks out of the room.

Marissa swings her bag over her shoulder and moves her dark blond hair out of the way. She walks down the hall towards the elevator, waving at one of the secretaries on the way. By now, just about everyone knows who she is.

"Marissa!" Sandy calls, catching up to her before she has a chance to slip onto the elevator.

"Hey Sandy," she says, stepping out the way.

"This is really out of the blue, but how do you feel about working for the Newport Group?" Sandy asks, pulling her into an empty office. "In the design department of course."

Taken aback by his offer, Marissa stares at the man with the large eyebrows. "Wha-Sandy-"

"I talked to your mom and she said that you don't have a job yet-"

"She's got a huge mouth."

"True," he laughs. "But you do have a background in the interior design." He looks at her as she stares at the ground in deep through. He smiles. "Tell you what, come by tomorrow with your portfolio an we'll go over it in a fair manner."

"Sure. Thanks," she says smiling softly; uncertainly.

* * *

Lily stops at her locker after the last bell rings at the end of the day. She hold her books in one hand, her bag slung over her shoulder while she works on the lock with her other. She opens it finally and places the books she doesn't need inside and taking the ones she does need and putting them in her bag. She closes it and starts off in the direction of where she thinks the main entrance is to meet her dad. She smiles at Chase who's walking towards her.

"So what are you doing tonight?" Chase asks, switching gears to walk beside her.

"I dunno. I might just watch a movie with my dad. Or get a head start on my homework," she says, smiling shyly.

"Good. Cool."

"You?"

"Homework."

"Good."

Chase nods, wondering where the sudden awkwardness is coming from. "So uh...about the carnival...do you wanna go-with me?" he asks, stuttering nervously.

"Like a date?"

"No-yeah. I dunno, do you want it to be a date?"

"I dunn-"

"Okay."

Lil smiles awkwardly, pushing the front doors open and walking out into the sun and crowds of teenagers. "What about Cassie?" she asks, remembering her attitude towards her at lunch.

"What about her?"

"I don't think she likes me very much," she admits.

Chase shrugs, following her towards the parking lot. "That's just Cassie-she doesn't like anyone. Between you and me, I don't think she even likes her own friends."

"And you?" she asks curiously, seeing her dad in the distance.

"We had a 'thing' last year," he shrugs. "That's it."

"Yo Chase! C'mon man," Derek says running up to them. "Hey Lily."

"Hi."

"I gotta go," Chase says walking backwards with Derek. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll be here." She smiles. He smiles back before running off with Derek and Matt. She keeps walking towards her dad, smiling at him. "Hey dad."

"Hey kiddo," he grins, throwing his arms around her shoulder. He kisses her forehead. "How was school?"

She shrugs, walking around to the passenger seat. Her dad follows suit. "It was okay. I got lost a lot though...it was kind of weird."

"Yeah, sums up my first day too," he laughs.

* * *

Later that night after having dinner at the diner and deciding to rent a movie, Lil walks into the kitchen at the Atwood house to find Marissa standing in front of two ice cream containers on the counter. "Where's dad?" she asks, climbing into a chair at the island.

"He went to the movie store. Chocolate or vanilla?" she asks, staring at the cartons intently.

"Chocolate."

Marissa smiles and grabs two bowls out of the cupboard along with two spoons out of the drawer.

Lily watches as the blond fills both bowls with the chocolate ice cream "I think I have a date," she blurts out quickly.

"What? A date? With Chase?" Marissa asks hopefully, handing her a bowl.

"I dunno if it's a date though," she admits, sticking a full spoon into her mouth. "He asked me to the carnival tomorrow."

"Are you gonna go?" Marissa asks, climbing onto the counter, facing her. She smiles, taking a bit of her ice cream.

"I told him I would. How do I know if it's a date though?" she asks, looking at her curiously. There's a plus side to being friends with her dad's girlfriend; she really can talk to her about everything.

"Was he nervous when he asked you?"

"A little..."

"Then it's definately a date!"

Lily smiles softly and Marissa smiles back. She definately has a date. With Chase. At the very sort of carnival that started Ryan and Marissa's relationship with a kiss.

"I may have a job," Marissa admits.

Lily looks at her happily. "Really?"

"Sandy asked me to come in tomorrow for an interview."

"For the Newport Group? That's awesome," the young Atwood says reassuringly.

"I'm completely terrified," the blond admits.

"Me too."

"Terrified?" Ryan asks, walking into the kitchen having only the end of the conversation. He's got a movie in one hand and his keys in the other. "Why?"

Marissa and Lily exchange looks of understanding before looking at Ryan. "I may or may not have a date tomorrow." "I may or may not have a job tomorrow." The words come out in a simultaneous rush.

Ryan pauses, blinking rapidly as the words from both of his girls settle in. Date? Job? Tomorrow? "When?" he asks finally, o make sure he heard it all properly.

"Tomorrow."

Silence falls over them. Lily finishes her ice cream and hops off the chair, placing her bowl in the sink. Marissa also finishes hers and holds the bowl in her lap.

"I'm gonna go do my homework," Lil announces, walking towards the exit of the kitchen quickly.

"It was only your first day," Ryan says in confusion.

"I know."

Ryan turns back to Marissa after his daughter runs upstairs. "Looks like it's just you and me." He grins, the idea not sounding so bad as he stops in front of her, placing himself between her legs. He massages her knees and looks at her, though she doesn't seem to paying attention. "Marissa."

"I have to go," she says suddenly. She puts her bowl in the sink and pushes Ryan out of the way absently. "i have to get my portfolio together and an outfit and... I'll call you." She kisses his cheek quickly before leaving the room.

Ryan stands alone in the kitchen. He sighs and leans against the counter, looking at the rented movie on the table. "Okay. It's just me."

* * *

About an hour later, Lily walks down the stairs and into the family room to find her dad looking through photo's of current developments. "Hey."

"Hey," he replies, putting the picture away. He leans back into the couch and Lily sinks beside him. "So you have a date?" his stomach clenches at the thought of her-his baby girl-going on a date.

"Not a date," she murmers.

"No?"

"Chase asked me to go to the carnival with him. But everyone's gonna be there so..."

He smiles softly at her attempt to calm his nerves. "You'll have fun. I had fun."

"Yeah, I heard you had a lot of fun at the top of the ferris wheel." She smiles playfully at him.

"How's you hear about that?"

"People talk." She laughs.

"Oh people talk huh?" he laughs pretending to hold her in a headlock.

"Dad!" she giggles.

"You feel like watching that movie now?"

"Sure," she smiles, jumping to her feet.

* * *

The next morning Marissa comes over once again for breakfast and follows Ryan and Lily to Harbour in her own car for the second day of school. Ryan ignores-very successfully- the fact that chase is waiting for his daughter. He waves good-bye as she runs off to meet him. "I don't think I like this," he admits.

"Like what?" Marissa asks, standing beside him smiling.

"This date she's going on-or not date; whatever," he mumbles, crossing his arms like a child who didn't get his way. "She's thirteen."

"It's just a date," she says softly. "And she's a teenager now."

"I know how guys think," he argues, turning to his girlfriend. "And, I know what happens at carnivals."

"Lily's afraid of heights," she reminds him.

"So was I."

"You were desperate."

"I wasn't desperate."

"You jumps on a ferris wheel!" she laughs.

He looks at her, her knowing; playful smile calming him down. "Okay I was a little desperate."

"C'mon it's cute." She smiles and he makes an unsatisfied face at her. "I think it's cute."

"'Cause you're a girl."

"Yeah, I am a girl. Glad you noticed," she teases.

He laughs, pulling her into him and placing a kiss on her lips.

She giggles, pulling away. "I'm a girl who's gonna be late if I don't go home and get changed."

Ryan groans, following her with his eyes as she walks to her driver's side door. "Thanks by the way, for coming with her-with us."

Marissa smiles, pulling open her door. "Of course."

Meanwhile Chase walks Lily to her locker and falls into the ones beside her. "So I was thinking I can come get you at like six?"

"Sounds good. Except...is this a good idea?" she asks hesitantly, standing with her locker open.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Cassie's been giving me dirty looks since the minute she met me."

He smiles. "Don't worry about Cassie."

"Don't worry? I'm the new girl Chase. I'm the shiny new toy. I'm...I'm fresh meat!" She closes her locker and faces him.

"Okay I don't know what that means, but Cassie is harmless, okay?" He tilts his head to the side. "She's all talk. That's it."

Lily nods, smiling softly.

"Can I walk you to class?" he asks, pushing himself up straight. He stuffs his hands in his pockets.

"Sure," she giggles.

* * *

Marissa sits uncomfortably and shyly in the chair directly across from Sandy Cohen, clad in her favourite dark wash skinny jeans, a fancy/frilly top and a black blazer. Never before has Sandy Cohen looked more intimidating than he does now; with her file and her portfolio. She's been here for about a half an hour; she answered his mandatory questions. Now it feels like he's dissecting her entire portfolio.

"This is outstanding Marissa," Sandy says, raising his gaze to meet hers.

"Thanks," she whispers shyly.

"You worked for a small firm in New York?"

"Yes. It's actually quite large, but it's still nothing compared to the Newport Group."

Sandy nods absently and closes the folder. "This is amazing. Seriously."

"Thank you."

He slides the folder across the desk to her and folds his arms over the glass. "You think you can start Monday?"

"Wha-seriously?

"Absolutely."

"I...of course. Yes. Definately," she stutters nervously.

"Good," he says, smiling as he climbs to his feet. "Now go tell Ryan."

She smiles, jumping to her feet. "Thank you!" She throws her arms around his neck before abruptly pulling away. "Um, sorry. I'm gonna go find Ryan." Sandy smiles at her and she walks out of the office, smiling to herself as she practically skips down the hallway. Sandy was a major part of her life in high school whether she was with Ryan or not. He was a part of support group-always believing in her; he was like a second father, a friend, a lawyer. Now he's her boss. She stops in front of Ryan's office, standing in the doorway. "Knock knock."

Ryan looks up at the soft, friendly voice, his gaze colliding with hers. "Hey! How'd it go?"

"Really good," she smiles, walking into the room.

"So you got the job? Right?" he asks, standing up.

"Yep-"

"That's great babe!" he exclaims, wrapping his arms around her slim waist and spinning her around. She giggles in his ear and he sits her down on the glass table top. "I have something for you."

"A gift?" She smiles, watching him walk around to his drawers. He pulls out a long metal, triangular shaped 'stick' and holds it in front of her. She looks at him curiously and he shrugs, smiling at her. She takes it, turning it over in her hands. It's inscribed: _Marissa Cooper_. "Oh my God," she whispers. "this is...how'd you..."

"I knew you'd get it," he says, leaning in to kiss her softly.

"Thank you," she says softly, pushing him back into the chair carefully. She sits herself on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He slides his arms around her waist and rests his head on the headpiece of his chair, looking at her. "I'm proud of you."

"Me too," she says, smiling. She presses her lips into his. "Thank you," she murmers.

He kisses back, holding onto it deeply. "I love you."

* * *

After having a quick dinner, one her father made but didn't eat, Chase picks her up at 6 with his mom. She hugs her dad good-bye, promising him that she'll be home at a decent time; the car ride is silent but not at all uncomfortable like she thought it would be. His mom drops them off at the entrance and Chase helps her out of the SUV. Over the entrance is a large hand painted banner that reads: Harbour Kick-Off Carnival; in different coloured paints. Beyond the banner and he fence are everything that a carnival is known for: lights, rides, food bars, more lights, games, snack cabins and ever more lights. She looks around in awe. "This is...wow. I've never seen anything like it."

Chase smiles beside her and puts his hands in his jean pockets. "Yeah. We tend to go a little bit overboard around here."

"I think it's perfect."

"So you want a ride on the ferris wheel?" he asks, motioning to the large wheel shaped ride.

"Uh...I'm afraid of heights," she admits. "It's a genetic thing."

"Right," he laughs. "Well we've got the tilt-a-whirl or the spiny thing or-"

"What about a game? I love games," she says giggling. She grabs his arm, pulling them in the direction of the nearest line of games. Chase laughs in response as the weave through the crowds.

Meanwhile across town, Ryan makes his way up the stairs in the Roberts house after Julie lets him in. It's shortly after seven now as he knocks softly on his girlfriend's bedroom door. He walks in to find Marissa lying on her stomach on her bed, facing backwards. "Hey."

"Hey!" She smiles, sitting up on her hip, using her arm to support her.

Ryan grins, walking over to her. He climbs onto the bed, placing one arm around her and kissing her softly. "So I have another surprise."

"There's more? What can be better than my very own name plate?"

"Dinner," he answers simply, receiving a nod of agreement. "At the _Arches_."

"Mmmm, very fancy," she giggles.

"C'mon," he says patting her butt affectionately. "We have reservations at eight."

"Reservations?" she asks with a smile, as she climbs to her feet. She grabs her jacket off the chair of her old vanity.

"I told you, I knew you would do it."

"You're cocky," she teases, pulling on her jacket and pushing he hair back.

"I'm proud," he protests sweetly, pulling her into him; fast and playful. "There's a difference."

"Mhm, I'm sure," she giggles.

"I thought you never played this game before," Chase says, watching in amusement as Lily Atwood scores yet again on their current game.

"I haven't," she giggles. "I'm just a natural. And I just kicked your ass." She smiles triumphantly, turning to face him, to playfully rub it in his face. But he cuts her off, crashing his lips into hers. She freezes, taken aback by his sudden action. This is her first kiss. Her first _real_ kiss. It's amazing and scary at the same time. It's making her head spin and her knees weak. His arms slide around her waist and she kisses him back; her mockery and her prize both forgotten.

* * *

_So there we go. I hope you guys liked it! I hope to have chapter 10 up really soon, so let's hope! Let me know what you think please? Thank youu!_


	10. Authors Note

Hello Readers!

Wow, it's been over a year since I've updated this story and for that I'm sorry. First of all, I would just like to take a minute to thank my readers and my supports. Over the course of the last year and a half I have received and read all of your reviews (for both this story and When Worlds Collide) and I can't thank you enough for taking time out of your days to read and review. It truly does mean a lot that my work is appreciated.

That being said, I suppose I owe all of you wonderful people an explanation. When I first published this story I had every intention of following it through to the very end. However work had managed to get in the way of being able to write as well as publish. When my workload finally calmed down a bit, I started to get a little bit obsessed with other FanFics such as Harry Potter and a little show called Merlin. (And by obsessed, I mean OBSESSED). I've read and written a number of stories for both of these, and I'm hoping to share them as well.

As far as this story goes, I do have a plot all lined up, I just don't have any of it written because I just can't find the motivation to write it. I'm hoping that if/when I get my other stories posted I might be able to find it again and finish the story both for you, and for me. And now with THAT being said, feel free to let me know what you think! And if you're interested, you should check out my other stories in time. If not, well then still, I thank you for time :)

LoveBug

P.s. I may be changing my name, so it'll still be me, just under another name.


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